Friday, December 31, 2010

The New Year in Review

It is always fun to review the year, however I often can't remember what I did two hours ago so my efforts to review an entire year would be pathetic.  The good folks, however, at JibJab did a great review using President Obama and good 'ole Joe Biden as the reviewers.  It was quite a year....

Monday, December 27, 2010

Greetings for the New Year...

Some times I think I have too much time on my hands, but then I look at YouTube and realize there is a whole world out there of people who have way too much time on their hands.  Over the holiday season I have seen a bunch of videos involving cats, dogs and small children and I have to wonder why.

Having said that I am letting my better judgment go and showing you a video that involves cats welcoming the New, if you have a few moments look at this video and feel free to share any comments you might have with me...  Happy Almost New Year

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Capricorn Time

If your birthday is December 22 to January 19 you are a CAPRICORN, OR "Cap" to your astrological friends.  The sign for "Caps" is a goat...yes, a goat and goats are well known for what they eat (everything) and how they behave (stubborn).  Caps are also stable, planners, and so far from impulsive that they can't even say the word.

Capricorn is an earth sign and that means you aren't into fantasy or big on imagination.  Capricorns are very realistic and grounded.  For Caps, if you can't see it, it doesn't really exist.

This is a wonderful astrological year, however for Capricorns.  Seems that most Caps are moving into an alignment between Mars and Venus which means that either a lot of money is going to come your way  or you will be asked to join a new Polka band that is forming in your town.  Dust off your wallet and your Tuba and be ready for both.

As the New Year gets moving along, your Moon is moving into your 4th house and this is simply unheard of.  It looks like you will go completely out of character and start  working on repealing the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rules for cartoon characters. You had a dream or a drug induced moment wherein you realized Porky Pig and Yogi Bear are in a relationship but fearful of letting the world know. You believe it is time to step out and make gay and lesbian characters (like Dora and Barney) feel like the world is able to accept them as they are.  March on rainbow crusaders!

Mid year Jupiter will become oppositional of Pluto and Walmart and you will find yourself strongly attracted to autographed photos of Kim Jong Il of North Korea.  You think his oversized glasses and pudgy body is quite appealing and you find that you are purchasing CDs of his latest songs about dictatorship and nuclear weapons.  This phase will have your family and the CIA questioning your loyalty to America and thankfully will pass after a few weeks and constant complaints about listening to those Kim Jong Il cds.

The year will finish by having your 2nd and 5th houses being repossessed and aligning with Bank of America.  This phase of the stars is likely to find you wanting to purchase old whiskey barrels so that you can build an addition to your house that will have the lingering odor of Jack Daniels.  This phase is likely to attract some people who love Jack or some people who have been dying to meet him.  Either way, get ready to open your home to some new people.

That about wraps up the Capricorn year...enjoy and remember, Happy Planets.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What Humans Do For Entertainment

Okay...this is not a Christmas video but it involves cats and it involves voice overs for the cats by the humans who videotaped them.   Not sure if the voice overs are more entertaining than the cats' decide.

Ellen = Fun

Ellen is pretty crazy but crazy means some fun moments.  Here is a clip of Ellen and her new BFF, Paris Hilton getting ready to go clubbing.  Ellen gets to go through Paris' house and look around and that alone is worth the viewing, and of course, there are some funny moments with Ellen with Paris looking on with disbelief and/or boredom.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

If only....

'Tis the Season for people to show their joy for life and humanity.  Such is the case for this video.  Done by a young man, Keenan, who is well known on YouTube for his lipsynching abilities, all I can say is "wow"....If only we were all as enthusiastic as Keenan our world would be a different place.  It made me smile...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Paul McCartney & Jimmy Fallon

If you love the song "Yesterday" then you may or may not like this version....seems Paul originally had different words and Jimmy couldn't resist the opportunity to sing them with him. 

So, here's to "Scrambled Eggs"...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Advocating For The Potato?

Part of my role as a mental health professional is to advocate for others--for those who are unable to advocate for themselves--like for elderly, children, mentally ill--you get the idea.  I believe advocacy is very important but I never really thought about advocating for vegetables or fruits, but maybe their time has come.

Seems Chris Voigt, executive director of the Washington Potato Commission got all mashed up about the fact that potatoes are the only vegetable not allowed for purchase under the Federal program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC) after the Institute of Medicine recommended they be removed.  They also recommended that school lunch programs limit potatoes.  

Chris couldn't take it any more and so to bring dignity and grace back to the slandered potato, he decided to go on a 60 day "spud diet".   For two long months he ate pototoes...boiled, fried, baked, grilled, mashed...any way he could.  He didn't use any toppings, sour cream or butter just so he could prove that the potato was in and of itself a marvelous food.

60 days later he feeling like a living Potato Head and ready to eat any and everything that is far removed from the potato family.  However despite distain for his once beloved potatoes, he lost 21 pounds, and lowered his cholesterol by 67 POINTS!  Lipitor beware.

Not sure if the WIC program is going to change its stance but Chris proved that potatoes have their place in our homes, schools and cholesterol levels.

If you want to see Chris (aka "Spud") in person and hear his story just click on the link.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

'Tis the Season for the Griswalds

Chevy Chase had quite a run when he made the National Lampoon "Vacation Movies" -- so if you forgot (or wanted to forget) the crazy antics of the Griswalds you can't.  Every year I have to watch the movie so I figured you could stand to watch the movie trailer.  I have to admit there are some scenes that make me laugh and make me grateful I don't have a cousin Eddie in my family, at least I don't remember having one.

Oh well, Happy Holidays....

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Happy Chanukah

'Tis the season for lots of celebrations and Adam Sandler is the king of creating Chanukah songs.  So it seems fitting to share his 3rd version (and there could be more) of the song for the Festival of Lights which begins at sundown on December 1st.

Enjoy and sing along....

Friday, November 26, 2010

A Seasonal Favorite -- The Snuggie

There are always great gifts you can purchase throughout the year if you are willing to leave whatever you are watching on TV and grab your credit card and make a call.  It is interesting that most of these products are only advertised late at night or early in the morning--I guess they know when the "special people" are watching.  

Personally one of my favorite products is the Snuggie which now is sold in every drug store and Walmart in the country.  I actually do not know anyone who owns one, but someone out there is buying them because they are everywhere. 

Ellen DeGeneres and I share some of the same thoughts about the Snuggie only she is able to share her thoughts with 2 million people a day whereas my readers usually hover around two or three, but it is growing--I hope.  So, here's Ellen's take on the Snuggie:

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Horoscope for Sagittarius

If you happened to be born between November 22 and December 20th you are a Sagittarius kind of person.  The sign for Sagittarians is a centaur--you know, half guy, half horse which really seems like a smart combo.  You know if we could only produce half horse/half people we wouldn't have the problems we have with congestion and traffic because we could gallop wherever we wanted to go.  Sitting down at the dinner table could be problematic, but that's life...solve one problem, create another.

Now if you are a member of the Sagittarius club you are optimistic, honest, have a good sense of humor, but you can be restless, moody and overindulge in things I don't want to put into print. 

For this birthday your ruling planet, Jupiter is out of orbit which means you are currently upping your dosage of Xanax to get through this time of year.   It also means that you can expect things to happen that seem unusual or odd.  Looking at your chart, it appears that you will soon either receive an invitation to attend that royal wedding in April, or you will be asked to participate in several early morning mob scenes on Black Friday.

Around the first of the year, your Sun will be oppositional of Mars and several strange people who seem to think a fruit tree in your yard looks like the face of George Bush or Harry Potter and will start hanging outside of your house and singing songs from Glee.  Besides the groupies outside your house,  this little astrological oddity  results in your taking a trip across some body of water.  Not sure if this body of water is a lake, an ocean or a drainage ditch, but you are going somewhere.  Seems the purpose of this trip is to either meet the Dalai Lama, or Ricky Martin and his kids. Not sure which will happen because I misplaced that part of the chart, but you should be ready for either.

Later in your birthday year your Moon is rising over your 3rd and 4th house which means that you are getting smarter about a few things...please note the word, FEW.  Seems you are likely during this celestial phase to invest all your money into the Sarah Palin Corporation which creates products that assure the public that Sarah is alive and enjoying life gutting fish and hunting bear from her front porch in Alaska.  You have the brilliant idea of starting a line of educational videos which shows Sarah's knowledge of world geography and complicated social and political issues in a way only she and 4 year old children can understand.  Good luck with that.

Overall it is a great birthday year and your planets, stars, moons and property taxes all look seem to be in great alignment.  

Happy Horoscope.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Name of Your Town is What?????

You don't have to look far to find some odd and funny things in life.  For example, the link below is about the name of several towns that have funny names, including not one, but two from Arizona.  This was featured last week in the Bing travel section so once you read about these lovely spots you may just want to cancel your current holiday plans and check one or two of them out for yourself.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

YouTube for animal lovers

Obviously I love YouTube.  It is like having a collection of old and new movies, videos and information available 24/7.  Now having said that it I have also say it is a place where people post a lot of stuff that should never be seen by others...I mean ever!  Yet, since it is available to the masses, people constantly post material on it that is strange,  boring, or gives the impression that people have too much time on their hands.

Animals do not escape the wackiness of YouTube as you will see if you click on the link below.  Seems people do odd things with their pets not just in the U.S., but around the world.  A friend of mine sent me this YouTube bit which shows a cat being gift wrapped.  Before you drag out your PETA contact list, you need to know the cat was not harmed in this venture.  In fact, she/he (I can't tell), seemed to like the experience.

So, if you don't care about gift wrapping a cat for the holidays, then skip this little video, but if you have ever wanted to gift wrap your cat, or neighbor's cat, then this will be helpful and bring a bit of joy to your life.  Just sayin'

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Another Round of Sarah Silverman and Cancer

I am re-posting this bit on cancer done by Sarah Silverman as I have a good friend who has a very rare cancer and will soon go through surgery and radiation that is very invasive.  I share Sarah's sentiment about cancer...and if you know anyone who has ever had cancer you will totally relate to what she has to say in her funny, crazy way.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Muppet Moment

I admit I love the Muppets.  Jim Hensen in the mid 1950s took the art of puppet making to a whole new level.  I have seen (several times) one of his early efforts,  Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas which gives you a glimpse of how Muppets began and how far they have come.  Jim Hensen went on to create the characters for Sesame Street, The Muppet Show and numerous other movies and television shows.  Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are now known around the world.

One of my favorite characters is the Chef and when I saw the clip below I loved it.  It made me smile.   So Happy NFAL and thanks to Jim Hensen and his wonderful Muppets.

One small note...there is a brief commercial (sorry) before the Chef appears...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

A Moment to celebrate Veteran's Day

In case you missed the memo, today is Veteran's Day and there are many solemn celebrations for the women and men who have served our country over the decades.  I also believe that NFAL has a place among the men and women who wear uniforms and serve our country.  Here is my tribute to them...and as veteran, myself I can really relate to this tribute.

Kathy & Mo - The Angel Skit

In 1991 Kathy Najimy with Mo Gaffney did the Kathy & Mo - Parallel Lives Show.  Kathy went on to roles in the Sister Act movies, several television shows and most recently was the voice of Peggy in the King of the Hill animated show on Fox. 

This clip is from the Kathy & Mo show and involves two angels who are creating people on earth. 
Happy NFAL

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Ellen & Chelsea

Chelsea Handler is big right now and I say enjoy it while you can.  She appeared several months ago on Ellen DeGeneres' show, and the clip is pretty funny and will probably encourage some of you to read her latest book--Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang Bang.    If you happen to love dogs then there's a bit about her dog, "Chunk" along with his picture.

May it make you smile:

Friday, November 5, 2010

A Therapuetic Moment with Bob Newhart

Ah, the joys of being a counselor, therapist or psychologist.  For those people who do not work in a mental health clinic it is hard to imagine the day-to-day pressure of hearing sad, sad stories and having little time to really see people in a way that feels like you are doing your best work.  I refer to this as assembly line counseling...but Bob Newhart has a solution for doing therapy quick and easy.  Please check it out -- it will be, I am sure the newest trend in therapeutic approaches.

Gun Control for Sleep Walkers

You have to watch it when you talk about Gun Control because  alot of people want to cough up a hairball any time you even hint at the need for it.  I have heard all the reasons against it:

1.  It is our right to bear arms...okay, whatever.  I really don't ever think about bearing arms; actually I don't think about bearing anything.
2.  The bad guys will always have guns.  Probably so...usually bad guys find ways to get whatever they want but I am not sure an arsonal at home or having a shoot out with bad guys is the way to go. Just sayin'.
3. I feel safe with a gun in my hand, my home, my life.  Okay, I understand that need to feel safe.  I feel safe with a debit card, money in my bank and John Denver tunes on my iPod.  Except for the John Denver tunes, nothing I have will harm anyone else.
4. The Government isn't going to tell me what to do.  My favorite argument.  Some people resent regulations and rules but if there is a problem they get upset if the government doesn't help out.  Funny how that works.

I must admit I believe that some people are just dumb and should be bubble wrapped as soon as they reach the age when they can leave home without parents keeping them on a leash.  Sad but true...

As for guns, here's my latest plug to support gun control for people.  Some guy in Boulder Colorado shot himself with a shotgun while sleepwalking.  This 63 year old guy keeps a 9 mm near his bed (I keep a glass of water and my phone...just personal preference I guess) and obviously a shot gun nearby.  Evidently Mr. NRA took some medication to help him sleep and at some point was awakend to a loud "bang" and realized he shot himself and called the police.  Oops...those loaded guns nearby may be there to protect but this time the "bad guy" was just sleepwalking.

Oh well, with the election over I am absolutely sure that no legislation for gun control will be even whispered in the Halls of Congress.  So I am sure I will have more gun stories to share for the next couple of years.  Stay tuned.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Roger Ramjet

If you think cartoons are for children, think again.  Most cartoons can entertain the wee ones, but if you are an adult there are often many funny lines in cartoons that children would never get.  Such is the case of Roger Ramjet.  Created in 1965, Roger Ramjet was shown on the "Wallace and Ladmo" show in Phoenix and that's where I first saw him.  I loved the cartoon and thought it was very funny and so when I saw it on YouTube, I jumped up and down, sang the theme song and then had to leave the public library where I was using my computer because the Quiet Police thought I was either disturbed or disturbing others. 
Anyway, if you ever watched Roger, then you will probably react just like me and if you have no idea who I am talking about, check him out:

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

George Burns & Gracie Allen

George Burns and Gracie Allen met in Vaudeville in the 1930's and then went on to perform on Radio, and eventually had their own television show in the 1950s in front of a live audience.  Burns was the straight man to the scatterbrained but loveable Allen. 

They continued to play together until Gracie died in 1964 of a heart attack at age 62 while George lived until he reached 100 in 1996.   He never remarried saying Gracie was his partner for life.

This clip is a perfect example of Burns and Allen with a bit of Jack Benny tossed in there for laughs.  Although dated, the jokes are timeless and a great example of how the Gracie Allen and George Burns' chemistry worked to make audiences laugh for decades.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Co-Dependency Once More

People who love to track co-dependent moments scored big time last week when news broke that Virginia Thomas ("Ginny" to her friends) had left a voice mail on Anita Hill's work phone asking her to please apologize to her husband (Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas) for the accusations she made during his Senate Confirmation Hearings regarding the sexual harassment charges she filed against him.

I wondered if Virginia was having an Ambien moment!  There are several things wrong with this picture:

1.  Was why Virgina calling Anita Hill asking for something for her husband?  Did she know he was in need of an apology?  Has she read his journal?  Does he often cry about those confirmation hearing moments from 1991?  Did he ask her to please make the phone call because he was busy doing his job at the Supreme Court?

2.  I remember watching those hearings and I think maybe Clarence Thomas should have been calling Anita apologizing for many things--if I had been having to deal with all the ugly questions and accusations those men who were on the Senate Confirmation Committee tossed at me I would have lost it and the television viewers would have had to deal with bleeping out most of my words.    Anita Hill never lost it even though she was clearly perceived by the Committee to be less than creditable.

3. Why would Anita have to apologize anyway?  Clarence was confirmed to the Supreme Court and now he makes a lot of money, gets to wear some lovely black robes and make decisions that impact the entire nation.  Did I miss something here?  How did Anita's testimony impact him?

In case you don't know the fine details...well, here they are.  I guess "Ginny" called Anita Hill's phone at Brandeis University and basically told Anita it was time she apologized to Clarence for that ugly confirmation hearing business about him sexually harassing her.  Now Anita has, no doubt, over the years received many phone calls or messages that were unfriendly, so when she got the message she reported it to the Brandeis Police, who turned it over the FBI and then the news broke, and then quickly died down.

However, rumor has it that Melody Beattie who wrote Co-Dependent No More is beyond excited because Virgina has committed a huge co-dependent no-no and that means it is time to get the movement up and running again.  I believe either a Lifetime movie will come out of this event, or Virginia will be asked to compete in Dancing With the Stars.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Chelsea Handler on Sister Wives

Recently watched Chelsea Lately, the eChannel show which stars Chelsea Handler.  She is my kind of comedian...funny, irreverent and sacrastic.   She will tackle any topic or issue, even her own life with her comedy.  This short clip is from a recent show where she shares her thoughts about the new reality show, Sister Wives--which may soon be off the air since the people on it forgot they were living in Utah and breaking the law.  Sister Wives may soon have a whole new meaning for the 4 women if they end up in jail.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Changing the Age We Retire

I understand that France is attempting to increase the retirement age to 62 and there are a lot of French people who are very unhappy about this...mostly young people who planned to retire much younger than 62.

I think the retirement system in the U.S. also needs revising and for the past few years I have been doing powerpoint presentations at drive-thrus and campgrounds in an effort to promote my proposal for change.  This effort has so far resulted in my making America's Most Delusional List--picture included, but I am thoroughly committed to continue this effort.

My proposal is simple...retirement should begin at 40, continue until we are 60 and then you work until you just can't stand it any more.  I think this is a very reasonable idea because in your 40s most people look good in their passport photos, have energy to do things, and are willing to travel, learn new languages and drink microbrews.  It is the best time to enjoy your retirement.

I am not sure the age people can currently retire in France, but I am thinking of proposing my plan to their government because I need to find a new audience.  Au revoir

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Horoscope - Scorpio

I am going to start writing my horoscopes again not because anyone has requested them, but because I have to write something other than long letters to John McCain and Jon Kyle urging them to find another line

So for you astrological types, here is the horoscope for Scorpio.  In case you don't recall dates, Scorpios are October 23 to November 21st.  The sign for Scorpios is that of a Scorpion...not really that clever if you think about it so try not to.

Scorpios are intense little beings who can be nasty if you hurt or cross them.   They are both likable and just the kind of people you report to Block Watch.

If you are a Scorpio just know that you are in for a fun year. Seems that Neptune is aligned with Mercury rising and what that means is beyond me.  However, I do think you will find yourself wanting to spend a lot of time looking at the Dollar Menu at McDonalds thinking there is a message hidden among the menu items.  The message is probably related to your cholesterol levels, but who knows?

Scorpio is a water sign and so after the first of the year you will find yourself unable to resist popping a tent and living near water.  This could mean the ocean, a lake, a stream, or your bathtub--whatever works because if the stars dicate it, you have to it.

Later in the year your 8th house is going up for sale, which means that you are going to have some turmoil in your life.  Can't determine what this is right now--could be a job change, a liposuction procedure, move, relationship change, or a reality show with Wink Martindale, if he is still alive and well.  Be ready for anything.

Remember, Scorpios, Pluto is your key planet, so keep a picture of it in your wallet, on your desk, or better yet, get a tattoo some place where you can share it in public.  Pluto is related to your unconscious mind or maybe being unconscious, I can't remember which.  So, if you are unconscious alot or think you are channeling Sigmund Freud you are in the Scorpio Zone -- yipee for you.

Happy Stars and Planets

Friday, October 8, 2010

Lucille Ball

Lucille Ball started out as a dramatic actress but anyone who has seen her knows comedy was meant for her.  Lucille Ball married Desi Arnaz who was a successful band leader from Cuba.  They wanted to do their own show but found resistance for backing their show because he was Cuban, had an accent and they didn't believe American audiences would like him.  So, Lucy and Desi started their own production company and their show, I Love Lucy was a huge success and is now a classic example of physical comedy.

BTW...this clip illustrates the mind set of the 1950s in America...It makes you laugh but grateful you missed that era as an adult woman.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Diversity of Humor

I love to find a stand-up comic's routine or read something that I find very funny and then pass it along to another person and watch which part makes them laugh.  Certainly, once in awhile someone laughs at exactly the same phrase or word or behavior that makes me laugh, but most of the time it is totally different.

It is often said that laughter is a universal language, but what makes people laugh is very diverse.  Our sense of humor is unique--shaped and formed by our identity, our culture, our family, our beliefs and life experiences.  Comic routines actually celebrate diversity--our similarities and our differences.

I am not ashamed to say I am a graduate of the School of Eternal Optimism, and I think humor and its diversity is one way we can understand and appreciate each other.  I want to start a Foundation that supports the growth and development of humor and laughter throughout the world, which is why I am buying a lottery ticket and saying Novenas to the Patron Saint of Gambling--St. Roulette.   Wish me luck.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Southern Fried Chicks

Doing stand-up comedy has to be a real challenge.  People go to a comedy show expecting to laugh.  Talk about pressure.  It has to be hard to stand up in front of a glob of people who are just watching and waiting to laugh...and that's the good news.  The bad news is if they are not watching or waiting but texting, sleeping, or leaving.

If you look around there are more male stand-up comedians than female.  Must be as hard for women to break into that field as it is to become President in this country.

I found this clip of four women who collectively call themselves "The Southern Fried Chicks" and thought I would share it.  Could only identify 3 of the women:  Etta May, Sonya White and Beth Donahue, so if you know the fourth woman, let me know.  The clips are fairly short and each woman has a very different style.  So, here's to the women who brave the world of stand-up:

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Who is on First?

Ah, baseball--the sport that has endured walk-outs, steroids and crazy antics of players and fans alike.  I started thinking about it after seeing the advertisement for Ken Burns' documentary, The Tenth Inning.  Ken must love baseball because this is his 2nd documentary on the sport.

I grew up in a baseball family not because of my father, but my mother, who loved it.  My mom was a fan of the National League and during every World Series the television would be on and my mom would be rooting for the National League team.  She, of course, had her favorite team--the L.A. Dodgers.   I know one of the highlights of her life was going to a Dodger's game when we lived in California.  She could scream and yell at Umpires and players alike with the best of them.

Got me to thinking about the old Abbott and Costello routine of "Who's on First".  This routine evolved from early burlesque sketches around the turn of the last century.  Abbott and Costello paid $15 to writer (Michael J. Musto) to write the script and for years performed the routine to live audiences, radio and in movies. I read that each time it was performed, it was a little bit different but always a big hit.

The skit became so well known that in 1956 a gold record of  it was placed in the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York.  If you know the routine, it is fun to watch it again.  If you have never seen it before, here's your chance:

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Is it Ever Too Late?

Recently I had a mild brain dysfunction and agreed to join a local "Beginner's Running Group".  I showed up with my friend and colleague ready to start doing something I have never enjoyed my entire life--running. 

The first day of the class I noticed the average age of the group was probably 35 which should have been a sign for me to return home and watch exercise videos to see how other people do it...but no....I don't go home.  I listen to the Running Coach and start my first day of running.  At the end of the hour workout I am still standing although my lungs and heart are screaming obscenities at me.  I go home, collapse and have dreams about the Olympics.

The next workout day arrives and I commit  to going back and this time the workout is even harder, however a couple of people closer to my age have joined the group so I am no longer feeling like the paramedics are there just for me.  Off I go with the large group of people and soon I am at the back of the pack reminding myself that there was a reason my 4th grade coach advised me to find another interest besides Track.

Now I am in week three and I am feeling like I can remove the EKG machine I have been pushing around the track during practices.  I even thought about signing up for a 2K next month.  I am either experiencing a Runner's High or delusional thinking.

I am writing about my experience to encourage you to never be afraid to go out and do something ridiculous.  I run a 40 minute mile and have other runners constantly asking me if I am okay and it takes me 30 minutes after the group finishes to remember my name and where I live, but I wouldn't quit if they took me out on a stretcher because it makes me smile to think I actually joined a Runner's Group. 

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I miss George W.

Since George W. left office Washington has not been the same.  Oh sure, Joe Biden has put his foot in his mouth a few times, and the Democrats and Republicans continue to do things that are borderline idiotic, but George...he made life interesting and funny almost every day.  I wonder who he is entertaining these days.

I got nostalogic today and looked at this video from David Letterman about George's Top Ten Moments.  I have to admit I got a little misty looking at the video and remembering just what an impression George W. made for the United States to the entire world!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Fun Times with Doctors and Dentists

I think most of our experiences with doctors and dentists are far from fun.  Of course, when I am going to get a gynecological exam I am not looking for my doctor to be a stand-up comic, but I do think a bit of levity could make that entire experience more tolerable.  In fact, I think all doctors and dentists, while in school, should have to pass a class in humor. I mean I know a lot of people whose blood pressure jumps higher the daily Dow every time they wander into a dentist or physician's office.  Certainly a little humor could help to make the visit less likely to promote some kind of cardiovascular distress.

Over the years the doctors I have seen most frequently are Dermatologists.  The woman I am now seeing is able to laugh, joke, smile and behave within the realm of "normal".  The other Dermatologists I have seen, well let's just say the term "normal" doesn't describe them.

 My first experience was with a guy I aptly named, Dr. Mole.  I had gone to my family doctor who said that I had what appeared to be precancerous spots on my face and then he referred me to the Dermatologist in his building.  Obviously he had never visited that office. The receptionist looked like she used to be part of the Addams family.  The office was not bright and open, but dimly lit and felt Hobbit-like.  Great...I was nervous enough about the precancerous thing on my face and now I had entered into a prequel for Harry Potter.  The Mortica look alike led me into another dimly lit and sparsely furnished examination room.  I considered for a brief moment, sucking on the alcohol swabs sitting on the counter just to calm my nerves.

Finally, Dr. Mole moved out of the darkness into the examining room.  He had on latex gloves, a hat, long sleeves, and a mask.  I could only see two small, dark eyes looking at me.  He said nothing, but looked at my face and in a small, tiny voice he said "I must burn these off".

I had no idea how Dr. Mole was going to "burn these off"--a blowtorch?  A candle?  matches?  He then left the room and returned moments later with a large areosol can.  Before I could ask questions he was spraying liquid nitrogen on my face until I started tearing up from the pain.  He did it twice more before he laid his weapon down.

Dr. Mole then looked at me and said, "Never, never, never go out in the sun.  It is bad for you and so you should never go outside when the sun is shining.  See you again in one year" and with that he left.

Boy, was that fun--no conversation--a face behind a mask--burned skin and a brief, squeaky lecture about going out into the Sun.  Not a problem, Doc if I want to live in the Bat Cave with you. This is Arizona and just in case you haven't noticed, there is a lot of sunshine out there.

I never returned to see Dr. Mole again, but I encountered another fun dermatologist a year later.  Can we say "neurotic"  and a bit too trigger happy with the liquid nitrogen.  I swear I would go in thinking I was okay and leave with 30 burned spots on my face, hands and arms.  This woman never laughed or smiled and after one brief surgical procedure yelled at me for bleeding too much.  I believe she is now the official Poster child for several Mood Stabilizers.

Look for a future blog about know, the guys/gals who use your chest for a tray as they drill, spray, hammer and ask you questions while putting their gloved fingers in your mouth.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The National Park Service

Recently I visited Mesa Verde National Park and realized that whoever writes information about hikes and adventures for the National Park Service loves to exaggerate information.

I didn't realize that there were two big tours of the Native American Ruins at Mesa Verde--one being the Cliff Palace and the other, Balcony House.  So me and my group were reading about the tours and the Cliff Palace seemed like a breeze, but the Balcony House was frightening.  It mentioned climbing up steep ladders and crawling through a 12 foot tunnel and lighting candles and getting your last rites before the tour!  It even had a "demo tunnel" at the Visitor Center to give you some idea of how narrow the tunnel was.

I know I am not ready to climb Mt. Everest nor did I feel ready to tackle the Balcony House.  However, the Cliff Palace seemed like a reasonable tour, so I went to purchase tickets from the friendly Ranger at the Visitor Center. This Ranger looked at me, and started talking so fast that I wondered how much coffee she had that morning, and I couldn't quite grasp what she was saying.  Before I could ask for a rerun, she gave me two tickets and shouted "NEXT" and the next unsuspecting tourist nudged me out of the way.  I looked over the tickets--one for Cliff Palace and the other was the dreaded Balcony House!!!

So we crawled through the practice tunnel outside the Visitor Center which was not very long and talked about our claustrophic experiences in life and decided we would go to the Cliff Palace and think about the Balcony House.

The Cliff Palace Tour was like going to Disneyland in the Summer without Snow White and those other characters in drag.  It was physically easy and although the Ruins were impressive, the tour was not.

That's what pushed us to the Balcony House--we wanted a great tour and a Ranger that could provide more than the scripted talk she had rehearsed.  We discussed our Wills and who to notify in case of an accident as we drove to the Tour Starting spot where we were greeted by Ranger Tim and 4 other people.  Tim didn't look like a mountain climber or extreme sports kind of guy. He was in his 50's with a little bit of a belly and when asked questions about the ladders and the tunnel, he said "I do it several times a day".   Figuring if Ranger Tim could do it, so could we, off we went.

The Balcony House Tour was fantastic--six people--a great Ranger who had lots of stories and could answer any question put to him.  As for the death-defying ladder climbs....they were high but not scary or unsafe and the tunnel was tall enough for me to bend over and walk through.  Granted, those over 5 ft tall might have to crawl, but it was perfect for those of us who are vertically challenged.

I went back and reread the paper given at the front gate about the tour, thinking I must have misunderstood how dangerous this tour was, but no, it sounded like something only the very fit or foolish should ever do.  Maybe the people who write these descriptions are frustrated authors of fiction or maybe the National Park Service uses them for the purpose of crowd control.  At any rate, from, now on I am going to definitely hike or go on the Ranger Tour that sounds the most dangerous and terrifying because I know NPS secret!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Flip Wilson as Geraldine...

In the 1970's Flip Wilson made it big by creating a character, Geraldine Jones.  Flip Wilson, by the end of the 70's left show business to take care of his children and died in 1998 without a lot of fanfare. 

Here is a funny clip with Geraldine (btw Flip was an attractive woman in drag), and features a young Bill Cosby and a cameo of Gina Lollabrigida. Whether you remember Flip Wilson or not, this is a fun clip to watch.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Happiness = $75,000

There was a new study done by an Economist and Psychologist at Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School that says people who make $75,000 a year or more are not really happier than those who make less but that making $75,000 or more makes money less of a problem or a concern and of course, reduces stress that only poverty and low income can create. So, the higher the income, the easier life becomes--wow--who would have thought?

They went on to say that no matter what you make, for "every 10% rise in annual income moves people up the satisfaction ladder", (the scale they used to measure satisfaction).  Okay, now I really feel badly...I don't make close to $75,000 and I have never had a 10% increase in salary.  I want to cry.

 The question I have is who thinks up this kind of research?  I mean ask any fourth grader who is impoverished if he is as satisfied as his classmate who has his own cell  phone, high definition television, and iPod?  It is doubtful he will say "I feel that material things are not as important as the strength of your character".  Give me a break.  We live in world where money is so seductive people lie and steal to get it, so if you make enough to pay for food, housing, luxuries and have money left over, life is good and $75,000 sounds like a great salary to me.

So, based upon this wonderful study I am going to the President of where I work and have a chat.  I am sure he will be willing, once I explain that my happiness and life satisfaction would clearly increase if I was making $75,00 a year, to increase my salary.  Thanks, Princeton boys for this helpful and encouraging piece of research. I guess now we know the price tag for world peace, $75,000 a person.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Toltec Truck Stop

Sometimes life gives you opportunities you would not seek on your own.  For example, a week ago I was on my way to Tucson to visit friends and got a phone call from one of them (also enroute to Tucson) saying her car was having some problems and was I nearby in case she needed to leave the car and drive back with me.  Luck would have it that I was not far from her and so I pulled into the nearest place to escape the heat and wait to hear if I needed to pick her up--the Toltec Truck Stop.

Now, I must admit I have never spent any time in a Truck Stop.  I found the entire experience, enlightening.  My first encounter was with a woman whose lip ring made it difficult for her to clearly enunciate her words.  She worked at the A & W Root Beer Stand.  I love Root Beer and there was a tap on the counter which said to me the Root Beer was freshly brewed, so I ordered one.  Lip Ring gave me an empty cup and pointed me in the direction of the beverage dispenser.  So, I asked if the Root Beer in the dispenser was the same as in the tap.  She was undoubtedly tired of talking at this point so all I got was a head nod.  Off I go to the dispenser only the A & W Root Beer there was Diet--which I didn't want.  So, I wandered back and asked for regular, not diet Root Beer.  She didn't seem to comprehend this request, so I repeated it and I think the 2nd request woke her up and finally I got my Root Beer.  I think it must be hard to remain conscious when you only have 1 customer every hour or so.

I sat for awhile drinking my Root Beer and then decided to check out the "store" in the place.  I never knew there were so many appliances available to Truck Drivers.  This store had a variety of cooking stoves, crockpots, grills, blenders, fryers, refrigerators, wine coolers--all of which plugged into the cigarette lighter!  It was incredible.  Now I know why some times you will see truck drivers driving fast or all over the road--they are probably trying to drive while attempting to cook a gourmet meal.

Probably the most interesting thing was the book section in the Truck Stop.  I expected some books that were funny or had adult content but most of them were religious and about God and the Road..  I loved some of the titles:  Jesus was a Trucker; God Owns the Highway; The Lord is My Back Seat Driver.  My favorite title was Gas is an American Right.  I can't wait for that one to be made into a movie.

There was more to explore at the Toltec Truck Stop, but my friend called and I had to leave.  I bid goodbye to Ms. Lip Ring (she didn't respond) and took one long last look at the place that I don't believe I will ever willingly visit again.  

Friday, August 27, 2010

An Honest Politician

Okay, I admit that I was a member of the Cynics Club regarding most of the politicians who run for office these days.  I think the higher the office the greater the pressure and temptations one experiences and what often gets lost are ethics, values and clarity about why a person ran for office in the first place. 

Then last week I was in Bisbee, Arizona and my friend read me something from The Bisbee Observer and my hope for an honest politician was renewed and my membership to the Cynics Club was canceled.  Seems it is election time in beautiful Bisbee and the local paper was asking questions of the candidates for Mayor and City Council so that the citizens of the town knew more about their candidates.

The questions were pretty ordinary as were most of the answers with the exception of one by W. Boyd Nicholl who is running for reelection for City Council.  Below is the question/answer from Mr. Boyd.

Question:  What Makes you the best qualified candidate for the position you are seeking?*

W. Boyd's Answer:  I do not like this question, it assumes an ego I simply do not have.  Hell, I may not be the best candidate, but I am the only one running!

I don't know anything else about W. Boyd, but I like his style...and his honesty!.  Good luck, W. Boyd.

*taken from the August 19, 2010 edition of The Bisbee Observer, page 10

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Bear Story....

People love bears and bear stories and this summer there have been quite few of them, but this might be the best one of all.  Seems that in British Columbia, somewhere near the U.S. Canadian border, police found two marijuana fields with about 2,300 plants.  They wanted, of course, to get rid of them, but they couldn't even get near them because wandering through the fields were 13 black bears.

One of the head investigators said "...the bears were docile..."  Yeah, I bet...they were having a great time hanging out in those fields!  The Royal Mounted Police think the bears were planted there to guard the fields and plants, but I think some bear was wondering through the forest and came upon these plants and called his friend "Dude...I found something that is better than berries and salmon--really".  And before you know it, there was a party happening with every bear in the neighborhood.

The party, is now over...the bears are back to a more conventional diet and the Royal Mounted Police have taken care of the plants that remained after the bears vacated the party!

Party Bear...after the party!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Jonathan Winters and Robin Williams

Who made you laugh when you were younger?  I thought my 6th grade math teacher was funny, but I don't think he was really trying to be...also I laughed a lot at myself.  I wrote silly stories and then would read them over and crack up.  No wonder I got a job in mental health.

In between my psychotic moments, I would laugh at Jonathan Winters...I loved his impersonations and his humor.  He is in his 80's now and I have no idea what he is doing, but I bet he still has funny moments.  Found this short little video clip with him and Robin Williams on a young (I mean he still had lots of hair and no scandal regarding women who worked for him), David Letterman show.  It made me laugh just like I did when I was too young for senior discounts.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The World is Not Safe...for Pancakes

Sometimes there is news that is so disturbing that I can hardly bear to read it or share it.  Such is the case about an incident that happened outside a Bellingham, Washington IHOP restaurant.

It seems that "Suzie Pancake" who is, by the way, the official IHOP mascot, was assaulted by a bystander during the middle of the day.  Suzie Pancake, is really some 19 year old woman wearing a pancake suit (see photo), which is humiliating enough but then to get assaulted just for the way you look is beyond sad.

A 22 year old guy just came up to her and started yelling and hitting the pancake.  Suzie the Pancake could have been torn to pieces had it not been for the actions of  a passer-by who grabbed the young guy and tried to divert him to the nearby Waffle House.  Suzie was unhurt but shaken.

What is happening in our world?  There was a time when people could dress up like pancakes and know that no one would ever hurt them...I think it just shows that the world -- particularly the United States is no longer safe for those that dress like pancakes, or donuts, or bugs, or Disney characters.  I support Suzie in carrying an automatic weapon,  grenade launcher, bear mace, or berry syrup containers when she works so that she can safely walk the streets around IHOP and deal with people who may bite, pinch, slap or proposition her.  

Stay safe, Suzie.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Justin Bieber's Memoir

Justin Bieber is writing his memoir.  Yeah, I guess he feels he has a lot to share for his 16 years of existence and he wants people to know how he developed his fame, fortune and hairstyle.

Forgive me Justin, but I don't want to read your short story about how you got noticed on You Tube and how you have 12 year olds tossing their training bras at you.   I want to read a book about how to find treasures at Garage Sales that make you millions.

In case you didn't read about it, there's this guy who 10 years ago is at a Garage Sale in California and sees a couple of boxes of glass photography plates selling for $75.  He unwraps a few of them and decides to barter..$45 later he takes the boxes and goes home.  Today those plates (which have been authenticated as belonging to Ansel Adams) are worth around 200 million dollars.

Wow...I want that guy to write a memoir on how to pick treasures from trash.  I want to know all of his secrets and I want him to also interview folks who show up on Antiques Road Show with their $4 purchases that are worth half a million dollars.

I go to garage sales and I look in the crappy boxes to see if a treasure is there but honestly all I see is trash.  I look at old paintings and all I can think of is Motel 6 decor.  I have no idea how or where to look for a treasure.  I am a master at purchasing crap that is, and will always remain, crap.

So, Justin...your book is not on my reading list, but if that Ansel Adams' photography plate guy writes his memoirs I am buying it and the sequel and the CD.  I am ready....

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Dr. Oz is on the Humor Wagon

I thought I was on the cutting edge of things regarding humor and then this morning in the paper there was an article by Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen (who?) about the link between laughing and longevity.  Since Dr. Oz has a television show and I am still appearing weekly at the Porta Potty near the Snow Bowl, I decided I would pass along his advice.  Three tips:

1.  "Get your daily quota of yucks".  Now I am assuming the "yucks" in his tip have nothing to do with things that make you gag. 

2.  "See humor in your life"

3.  "Discover what really tickles your funny bone".

Okay, Dr. Oz and "what's his name", thank you for this article and your advice.  Today, I am going to contribute to your "daily yucks" by showing you this clip from Ellen DeGeneres.  Enjoy!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Starbucks--Can You Say Crazy Macchiato?

I was once persuaded by the reminders my creditors were sending, to take a job with Starbucks as a Barista.  I managed to survive the training which included the making of all the drinks and learning the Starbucks language.  Frankly, I was the slowest drink maker in the entire history of the company and my Starbucks language skills often required the help of the store translator. 

Still my work ethic and desire to not have my electricity turned off propelled me into doing the best job I could possibly do. I was friendly, made great foam and would try to help customers who needed assistance in understanding the 3,098 options listed on the menu board. I really liked what I did for awhile...until the Ugly Customer started showing up more and more on my shifts.  The Ugly Customer is any Starbucks person who is just plain crazy and demanding.  I usually don't react to people who are mean and hostile but when I found myself purchasing a holster to carry my whip cream dispenser for protection and revenge, I knew it was time to leave.

Today I saw a You Tube video that brought it all back to me...and when I called my therapist she told me to write about and share it anyone I could in an effort to move through the pain.  So here it is....

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

That Darn Betty White

 Today I was at work and I just started thinking about Betty White and decided to check out her monologue for Saturday Night Live, (this is how my mind works...go figure).  At 88 that woman is still going strong...and funny.  So, here's a laugh moment for today courtesy of Betty White:

Sunday, July 18, 2010

State Obesity Rankings

I recently read an article that ranked the 51 states (D.C. was in there) for obesity levels in the United States.  Mississippi was the worse; Colorado the best.  Arizona was 29th.

I don't get it..was there a contest that I missed?  And how did they get this info?  Did they go house to house, like the Census and ask people to weigh themselves, or did they count the number of pudgy kids or adults per square mile?  Maybe they asked people to pick Jenny Craig out of a line-up and if they couldn't...well, you know that is sign of something.

Now, the part that is most confusing is what are the people in the "fat" states supposed to do with this information?    Move?  Talk to their neighbors?  Go on Tyra Banks' show?  Have neighborhood weigh ins?
Get rid of McDonalds, Burger King or Chicken City?

Okay I know that it is good to eat healthy, exercise and be aware of what you feed your children, but I don't think ranking states is really going to promote this.  In fact, some people in Mississippi may even be proud that they came in as the worst state for obesity.   Who knows?

So, if you live in a "skinny state"-- whoopee!  If you live in "fat states" -- now you know.  And if you live somewhere inbetween, welcome to the world of competition.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Secret Lives

I saw an episode last night on Primetime about a guy who seemed like a great husband, friend, church goer, father and then he suddenly disappeared.  His wife, kids, co-workers, friends went on a frantic search to find him fearing the worse.  What they found out several weeks later was he had been building another, and secret which he identified as bisexual,  "swinger" with several internet sites where he solicited "hook ups" with a whole different identity.  In the show, he was eventually found in L.A.and the reporter wanted to talk with him and find out why he didn't just divorce his wife, and leave...why create such a dramatic exit?  The guy, whose name is hard to recall because he had several of them, was not willing to talk and share his reasons.

I remember watching Charles Kuralt who did "On The Road" feature for CBS news for years.  I loved his visits to out-of-the-way places and interviews with people. After he died in 1997 his long time wife found out that Charlie had a secret life--and wife--and children and house where they lived. Evidently,  Charles was doing more than just traveling the back roads of America in his Motor Home!  Since he was dead he never got to be interviewed and explain why he wanted to maintain two separate lives.

My question is how do you find the time to create, much less develop a secret life?  I mean I don't have time for my own life, much less to create a new one that I am actively engaged in.  How do people do it and manage to keep their two lives separate and secret?  I get overwhelmed just thinking about it.  I am obviously not a multi-tasker.

I am going to get a hold of the guy from Primetime--as soon as I can figure out his name--and suggest that he stop doing whatever he is doing to make a living and start writing a book about Time Management.  I mean the guy is a genius and could make a bundle.  I would call his book:  There is Always Time For Another Life...

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Laverne and Shirley

Laverne and Shirley ran from 1976 to 1983 and starred Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams.  They are both gifted comedians whose physical comedy was the center of the show. 

This clip is dedicated to restaurant workers and cooks everywhere:

Friday, July 9, 2010

Reviewing Doctor Offices

I just finished reading a review of a local restaurant and it got me to thinking.  Why don't they write reviews in the paper about doctors' offices?  Wouldn't that improve our health care and make waiting rooms a lot nicer?  Here's an example.

I visited the office of Dr. Squeeze and Smooch in a lovely area north of town.  Parking accommodations were unique as they only offer parallel parking or parking at meters that tended to devour my change.  Once however, I manage to get parked, the office entrance was only a few feet away and the walkway was beautifully decorated with large planters and a fountain that made you feel relaxed and serene before the poking and prodding began.

The front office receptionist was friendly although her eye contact was minimal as she requested my insurance card and asked me to complete the short novel also known as my "medical history form".  She offered me a pen but I declined as I prefer to use pens that have only been touched by my own hands.

The form was hard to read in places and the questions were often worded poorly. I also found several misspelled words and more grammatical errors than I could count.  I felt like I wanted to take a nap halfway through the thing and wondered why they couldn't condense this 10 page albatross into something short and sweet.

The office lighting was not the usual fluorescent but was low and soft and I noticed CFL bulbs under the lampshades.  Although this lighting made one feel cozy and at ease it also made it impossible to read the poor quality medical history form.  I had to resort to pulling a flashlight from my bag to read and decipher most of the print.

When I returned the form the office receptionist I had originally met was replaced by a snarly older man who looked over my form and told me (not asked) to take a seat.  I asked how long might it be before I saw the doctor and was told "he will get with you when he gets with you".

I took a seat near a table lamp and reviewed the selection of magazines which was sparse and not inviting--There were several copies of Hunter's Guide, National Geographic, and only two very old People and Ladies Home Journal Magazines.    I resorted to watching the flat screen television which was showing old Dr. Phil episodes although the volume was so low so I had to make up the dialogue.  It was either a show about hairy men or problems with teens who dress like vampires.  I wasn't sure.

The furniture and waiting room was designed in "Early Office" and to say it was boring is an understatement.  I noticed several tears in the fabric on the chairs and a couple of wads of gum were visible under the table holding the poor selection of magazines.  The color on the walls was off white with pictures that had to have been ripped off the walls of a nearby Motel 6.

Finally, a medical person (who knows if she is a nurse of just graduated from an online medical technician course), called my name....(this review will continue in next week's column).

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

July Horoscopes

Another month and another horoscope 'cause those stars and moons just won't stay still.  If you joined the world in July then you are either a Cancer or a Leo both of which are delightful signs in the Zodiac.

Let's start with those of under the influence of Cancer -- Cancers are loyal, trustworthy, complex and full of surprises.  Cancers make great friends, employers and financial advisers.

Right now, Cancers are experiencing a Juxaposition of their Moon and Jupiter.  This can only mean one thing--it is time to stop thinking and start doing.  Perhaps it is time to build an addition onto your home, or to take a shower, or start drinking or pay your taxes.  Whatever you have been putting off needs to move into the Action Mode.   The Stars say "it is time".

Also, Cancers are needing to start paying attention to how they look....yeah, that is right.  You see your left hand is in opposition to your right hand and Pluto.  This means it is time to start looking fine.  Toss out those dull leisure suits and boring browns, and grays.  It is time to shine, and that means COLOR!  Reds, yellows, oranges, pinks, lime green---all the colors of the fashion rainbow.  Don't be afraid to make yourself look like a taxicab in Thailand!  It is your time to be noticed even if all you get are people looking at you and shaking their heads.  Shine on....

For Leos there are things happening in the moonbeams.  Leos do not like to be, never.  They love excitement, and attention and like to be in control.  Lions are not docile and passive--they are out there and they are in charge.

Right now, Leos are having some alignments between their 7th and 8th houses and  some kind of asteriod, which means there is a lot going on in Leoville.  Leos are going to feel the pull to work on their relationships with people they don't like.  Yes, that means you Leos are going to play "nice-nice" with people who irritate, annoy, aggravate and just plain make you sick.  The stars say it is time to build peace in the world and Leos have to lead the least until the planets and other astrological things shift a bit.

 Another thing happening for Leos is the Sun Sign has found its way to the forefront of your chart.  This is not easy, but you will find you have no choice but to start watching Infomercials all night long for at least three months.  Yes, and you will tempted to order things that you never wanted -- juicers, hair replacement plugs, laundry additives, music from the Dark Ages...and the list goes on. It will be a time of no sleep and rude remarks from your loved one.  Good luck...

May the Stars Shine Upon You...

Monday, July 5, 2010

America The Beautiful

Yesterday, in celebration of the birth of our nation, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut stuffed 54 Nathan Hot Dogs in his mouth in 10 minutes!!  If that wasn't enough to bring tears to your eyes, the contest was marred by a radical and disgruntled former Hot Dog Face Stuffer, Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi, who crashed the proceedings because he had not followed all the rules to enter this momumental event and salute to our country.  Joey, however, was unwavering even as the police drug "The Tsunami" off the stage swearing in Japanese and demanding his chance to participate in this American Dream.

There is nothing more American than stuffing 54 hot dogs into your mouth in 10 minutes without gagging.  I know that for some Americans, waving the American Flag, watching fireworks and listening to patriotic songs is the way they want to celebrate our Nation's birthday, but for many, watching some guy perform a gluttenous act in public, is America.

God Bless you, Joey....

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Cherry Pit Spitting Contest Winners!

There are many competitions in the world--World Series, World Cup, Tour de France, and the hardy recognized  "Annual Cherry-Pit-Spitting Competition" held in Eau Claire, Michigan.  Once again, Rick "Pellet Gun" Krause won--his 16th win.  He spit his cherry pit 51 feet, 3 inches.  Wow...he is gifted, and his wife, Marlene took first place in the Women's division spitting her pit 34 feet, 6 inches--her 7th win. 
Their  training regime evidently is a year round  event and since cherries are seasonal they have to practice with different kinds of pits--date pits, apple seeds, prune pits and in the winter months, they spit ice cubes. 

This competion started 37 years ago when the founder was undoubtedly under the influence of something, and has managed to continue and attract people whose athletic abilities are questionable.  If interested in competing, please first seek professional help.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Becky from Ireland...Don't Mess with Her!

Children are funny, even when they don't mean to be.   This clip was passed along to me from a friend.  It features Becky who is very serious and upset that her school and teachers are giving too much homework--the solution?  Well, let's just say Becky doesn't believe in peaceful negotiations.

You get all the details by clicking here:

Saturday, June 26, 2010

A Lazy Boy DUI

It is hard sometimes to find any bits of humor in the news, however despite the tragedies involving people and Mother Nature, there are some funny things.  One of my favorites happened this past year when a guy who had motorized his Lazy Boy chair got a DUI as he was "driving" home.  He evidently modified his Lazy Boy (which obviously he didn't want to move from) by adding a lawn mower motor.  He would "drive" his chair to the local bar and pound down a few.  Don't know if he was speeding, or weaving or popping his leg rest up and down, but he caught the eye (probably for many reasons) of the local police and got the DUI.  I wonder if his Lazy Boy was impounded.

So, despite sad and tragic events there are some tidbits of humor that manage to find their way into the daily news and I am always on the lookout for them.  If you come across any of them, or have a funny story to share, let me know.

There is always a need to laugh....

My email is:

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Think About It....

  • Everyone has a laughter mechanism (although it may appear to be broken and damaged in some people)
  • There are thousands of languages; hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone understands the language of laughter (a few people may have forgotten how to "speak" or comprehend the language)
  • Laughter is contagious (and there are people who need to catch it)
This information (modified in parts that are obvious) comes from "Experiential Laughter Therapy" as presented by Gulshan Sethi, MD of the University of Arizona @ the Integrative Mental Health Conference, March 2010

Friday, June 18, 2010

The News of the Day- -- SpaghettiOs !

Forget the NBA Finals, forget the Gulf Oil Spill, forget AZ's crazy immigration law, the big news today is about SpaghettiOs recall. What will this country do without SpaghettiOs with artificial bits of meat in them?

I am opposed to the dumping of SpaghettiOs as it seems such a waste.  Instead why doesn't Campbell run a contest to make SpaghettiO sculptures?  I mean, think about, adults, people with no life, could pick up a few cases of the bad stuff and create works of art that could be displayed in public parks, the homes of politicians or even at the Smithsonian.  Of course, to protect some demented adult or child from eating the sculptures they could be sprayed with oil from the Gulf (that would solve another problem), or polyurethane or vegetable oil--whatever.

SpaghettiOs are not really a food anyway so why not take them and create something that will bring smiles to  people who don't know any better.  It is time to take a bad thing and make it into something beautiful.  SpaghettiOs rock!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Jesus does have sense of humor

Today I read that the sculpture known as "Touchdown Jesus" was struck by lighting and burned to the ground.  Now, I know a lot of people feel that God is providing them a sign when they see the face of Jesus in a Peach Pit or Tortilla, so I am wondering what this means?

Touchdown Jesus in case you don't know was named that becuase the way his arms were raised were similiar to a referee signaling a touchdown.  This marvel of steel and foam was located in lovely Monroe, Ohio and had been in existence since 2004...kind of short life for Jesus since he lasted only 6 years.

By the way, some lucky people were nearby as Jesus melted and twisted into oblivion and they wisely picked up pieces and will either sell them on EBay or erect a shrine and hope that it starts to do something newsworthy so they can retire and move to Florida.

I personally believe that this was a sign from God that she is dissociating herself from football, at least in Ohio.  Amen

NEW INFORMATION:  Jesus is being rebuilt in Monroe, Ohio...this time, however his arms will be lower so as not to confuse his blessing with that of signaling a touchdown.  Just a regular 90 ft. Jesus statue...darn.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Politics and Humor

Politicians give us many opportunities to laugh, although that is usually not their intent.  George Bush was often funny because he just was a goof--he made one verbal mistake after another.  Some of things he said made you wince; others made you smile and yet others made you want to contribute to a fund to help him get a tutor or something. 

Today's contribution comes from George...a comment he made during a news conference (year unknown) with the prime minister of Japan:

    "It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship."

I miss that he doing stand-up somewhere?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Imagination and humor

I love the Muppets and think that Jim Henson was a genius in using his imagination to create characters that were endearing and funny.  I just saw the following clip with Rita Moreno and the muppet, Animal and laughed out loud. 

So, happy Friday...may you use your imagination to bring laughter to your life, and here's to Jim Henson:

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Humor and Advertising

The Today Show had a clip showing the top commercials for 2009.  Even the PETA commercial (which has a message that isn't humorous) is done well and has a humorous bent to it.  Humor is a great seller of products because we love to laugh.  Check out the winners at:   (oh, there is an ad before they show the winners so be patient 'cause that ad isn't funny).

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Don't Miss Opportunities to use your sense of humor

There are chances all the time to use your sense of humor and to lighten and brighten up your day, and hopefully the days of others.  For example, today I had to attend a meeting for all the staff where I work.  Normally our amazing office manager takes the minutes/notes and then writes them up and sends them out for all to see.  Well, today she couldn't do it because she had other responsibilities, so I did it.  Needless to say I made the minutes short, sweet and funny.  Of course, my supervisor had a few editorial changes, but he left in some of the best parts. 

How to make it funny...use acronyms specific to your organization or  comments that people in your organization or group would understand and appreciate (I wrote something about using post-it-notes to write our clinical notes and as it gives us the ability to destroy them by eating them if confidentiality could be compromised--certainly something that therapists/counselors at our office could relate to).  Also instead of boring words like "discussed" use words like chat, or blah, blah, blah for discussions that gone on and on.  Of course, timing and taste are everything when attempting to inject humor, and if you have doubts, let someone with a good sense of timing and taste read it over before you put it out to the masses.

Here is a bit of Visual Humor.  It is a site where there are many interesting and some humorous signs--some intentional and some are just plain "what were you thinking?"  Enjoy:

Friday, June 4, 2010

Tribute to the Golden Girls

Our sense of humor is often drawn to a particular type of humor...Verbal, Physical or Visual.
Verbal humor is often connected to current issues of the day, although some are timeless.  The Golden Girls show was mostly based on verbal humor and with the passing of Rue McClanahan, it is wonderful time to remember just how well all the women on The Golden Girls worked their magic.

 So here's to verbal humor and laughter as Friday slips into the weekend:

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Horoscope for June

If you have a birthday in June, well good for you.  You are either a Gemini or Gemi or a Cancer or crab.  Tf you are having a birthday in June you will be overjoyed to know that your moon is rising in your put the breakables away.  Also it is possible that your 4th house is considering moving.  Such is the way of the stars.

Right now if you are considering a job change, there are opportunties on your horizon.  Looks like some of the hottest jobs are:  Clown, Cow Bell Ringer, and trying out for the new hit show, Dancing with the Losers (it is really kind of pathetic but it's a job).

Also there are stars jumping all through your sign this month so it is a great time to think about getting some kind of animal.  Looks like a goat or small rodent or a Unicorn would be your best bet.  Animals, you know can be great companions and sometimes can be your best friend, especially if you don't have a best friend.

June birthday folks, this is a month to celebrate the development of the toothpick.   Yes, some guy in the stone age ate a lot of meat (origin unknown) and then spent 5 months making a small tree limb tiny enough to pick his teeth.  What a guy and what an invention.

Happy Juners!

Humor and Animals

Yesterday a four year old and a 1 1/2 year old were at my house and I watched them play and LAUGH.    They ran and jumped and were delighted by the most mundane and everyday things.  Played hide and seek and had a great time.

They are a reminder that there is joy and laughter in many places if you are open to the experience.

Animals do the same thing.  Animals bring us joy and laughter and so today in an effort to promote NFAL I present this YouTube video which is circulating and shows that dogs truly are very patient with humans:

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Church Bulletins and Humor

Most churches don't mean to make their weekly bulletins funny, but often they are. Not sure who proofreads them, but whoever does either has a great sense of humor or poor proofing skills.  Here are couple of them for your reading and laughing pleasure:

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm.  Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Humor and relationships

I don't know what is happening in the Universe but lately there have been a rash of relationship break-ups--not just Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, but people I know and love. Can there be laughter among the sadness and tears associated with dissolving relationships? Well I received something today from a friend that is all about relationships and funny.

Check it out:

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Quote of the Hour

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
Michael Pritchard

Laughter Count is UP!

I did a presentation yesterday on NFAL and my laughter count went way up! I even had several participants say they wanted to count the number of times they laugh each day. So far my best day (yesterday) was about 20. I am getting into shape.

Laughter, according to Dr. Sethi of the U of A does the following:

It dissolves distressing emotions, if only momentarily

It relaxes, recharges and energizes

It shifts perspectives--enabling you to see things from another viewpoint making things less threatening

Check this out for the laugh of the day

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Quote of the Moment

“I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said”

-Lyn Nofziger –Nixon Aide

The challenge of laughing

Didn't write for a few days, but have been keeping track of my laughing...averaging 4 or 5 times a day!  I make others laugh and I smile a lot but I had no idea I laughed so rarely. 

I thought more about and what/who influenced my sense of humor.  My parents laughed at Bob Hope and Lucille Ball and liked "clean humor".  Of course, they were good Midwest folks and didn't like profanity and jokes that were directly sexual.  Indirect stuff was okay.

Until I started doing this blog (while working on a presentation about humor for my work) I never really thought about how I got a sense of humor or how my humor was influenced by my environment.

Today I want to share an Ellen moment to support your laughter:

More later...

Friday, May 14, 2010

Quote of the Day

I also read that we are not born with a sense of humor--we develop one.  That's why I want to share a quote every day that reflects my sense of humor.

"I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008

Now that guy made me laugh...he also made me want to relocate to another country. 

NFAL - Nurturing Fun And Laughter

I read that children laugh 300 to 400 times a day and that adults laugh about 12 to 15 times a day!  Is that right? I am going to start keeping track of my own daily laughter and see just how often I do laugh every day. 

I will let you know how it far I have laughed 4 times today and I feel there is more coming.  I may even set laughter goals every day, but right now I am going to count my laughs everyday for a week to get a baseline just to see how I am doing.

Wish me's not always fun out there.