Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Horoscope for Sagittarius

If you happened to be born between November 22 and December 20th you are a Sagittarius kind of person.  The sign for Sagittarians is a centaur--you know, half guy, half horse which really seems like a smart combo.  You know if we could only produce half horse/half people we wouldn't have the problems we have with congestion and traffic because we could gallop wherever we wanted to go.  Sitting down at the dinner table could be problematic, but that's life...solve one problem, create another.

Now if you are a member of the Sagittarius club you are optimistic, honest, have a good sense of humor, but you can be restless, moody and overindulge in things I don't want to put into print. 

For this birthday your ruling planet, Jupiter is out of orbit which means you are currently upping your dosage of Xanax to get through this time of year.   It also means that you can expect things to happen that seem unusual or odd.  Looking at your chart, it appears that you will soon either receive an invitation to attend that royal wedding in April, or you will be asked to participate in several early morning mob scenes on Black Friday.

Around the first of the year, your Sun will be oppositional of Mars and several strange people who seem to think a fruit tree in your yard looks like the face of George Bush or Harry Potter and will start hanging outside of your house and singing songs from Glee.  Besides the groupies outside your house,  this little astrological oddity  results in your taking a trip across some body of water.  Not sure if this body of water is a lake, an ocean or a drainage ditch, but you are going somewhere.  Seems the purpose of this trip is to either meet the Dalai Lama, or Ricky Martin and his kids. Not sure which will happen because I misplaced that part of the chart, but you should be ready for either.

Later in your birthday year your Moon is rising over your 3rd and 4th house which means that you are getting smarter about a few things...please note the word, FEW.  Seems you are likely during this celestial phase to invest all your money into the Sarah Palin Corporation which creates products that assure the public that Sarah is alive and enjoying life gutting fish and hunting bear from her front porch in Alaska.  You have the brilliant idea of starting a line of educational videos which shows Sarah's knowledge of world geography and complicated social and political issues in a way only she and 4 year old children can understand.  Good luck with that.

Overall it is a great birthday year and your planets, stars, moons and property taxes all look seem to be in great alignment.  

Happy Horoscope.

No comments:

Post a Comment