Monday, August 2, 2010

Justin Bieber's Memoir

Justin Bieber is writing his memoir.  Yeah, I guess he feels he has a lot to share for his 16 years of existence and he wants people to know how he developed his fame, fortune and hairstyle.

Forgive me Justin, but I don't want to read your short story about how you got noticed on You Tube and how you have 12 year olds tossing their training bras at you.   I want to read a book about how to find treasures at Garage Sales that make you millions.

In case you didn't read about it, there's this guy who 10 years ago is at a Garage Sale in California and sees a couple of boxes of glass photography plates selling for $75.  He unwraps a few of them and decides to barter..$45 later he takes the boxes and goes home.  Today those plates (which have been authenticated as belonging to Ansel Adams) are worth around 200 million dollars.

Wow...I want that guy to write a memoir on how to pick treasures from trash.  I want to know all of his secrets and I want him to also interview folks who show up on Antiques Road Show with their $4 purchases that are worth half a million dollars.

I go to garage sales and I look in the crappy boxes to see if a treasure is there but honestly all I see is trash.  I look at old paintings and all I can think of is Motel 6 decor.  I have no idea how or where to look for a treasure.  I am a master at purchasing crap that is, and will always remain, crap.

So, Justin...your book is not on my reading list, but if that Ansel Adams' photography plate guy writes his memoirs I am buying it and the sequel and the CD.  I am ready....

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Dr. Oz is on the Humor Wagon

I thought I was on the cutting edge of things regarding humor and then this morning in the paper there was an article by Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen (who?) about the link between laughing and longevity.  Since Dr. Oz has a television show and I am still appearing weekly at the Porta Potty near the Snow Bowl, I decided I would pass along his advice.  Three tips:

1.  "Get your daily quota of yucks".  Now I am assuming the "yucks" in his tip have nothing to do with things that make you gag. 

2.  "See humor in your life"

3.  "Discover what really tickles your funny bone".

Okay, Dr. Oz and "what's his name", thank you for this article and your advice.  Today, I am going to contribute to your "daily yucks" by showing you this clip from Ellen DeGeneres.  Enjoy!