I think most of our experiences with doctors and dentists are far from fun. Of course, when I am going to get a gynecological exam I am not looking for my doctor to be a stand-up comic, but I do think a bit of levity could make that entire experience more tolerable. In fact, I think all doctors and dentists, while in school, should have to pass a class in humor. I mean I know a lot of people whose blood pressure jumps higher the daily Dow every time they wander into a dentist or physician's office. Certainly a little humor could help to make the visit less likely to promote some kind of cardiovascular distress.
Over the years the doctors I have seen most frequently are Dermatologists. The woman I am now seeing is able to laugh, joke, smile and behave within the realm of "normal". The other Dermatologists I have seen, well let's just say the term "normal" doesn't describe them.
My first experience was with a guy I aptly named, Dr. Mole. I had gone to my family doctor who said that I had what appeared to be precancerous spots on my face and then he referred me to the Dermatologist in his building. Obviously he had never visited that office. The receptionist looked like she used to be part of the Addams family. The office was not bright and open, but dimly lit and felt Hobbit-like. Great...I was nervous enough about the precancerous thing on my face and now I had entered into a prequel for Harry Potter. The Mortica look alike led me into another dimly lit and sparsely furnished examination room. I considered for a brief moment, sucking on the alcohol swabs sitting on the counter just to calm my nerves.
Finally, Dr. Mole moved out of the darkness into the examining room. He had on latex gloves, a hat, long sleeves, and a mask. I could only see two small, dark eyes looking at me. He said nothing, but looked at my face and in a small, tiny voice he said "I must burn these off".
I had no idea how Dr. Mole was going to "burn these off"--a blowtorch? A candle? matches? He then left the room and returned moments later with a large areosol can. Before I could ask questions he was spraying liquid nitrogen on my face until I started tearing up from the pain. He did it twice more before he laid his weapon down.
Dr. Mole then looked at me and said, "Never, never, never go out in the sun. It is bad for you and so you should never go outside when the sun is shining. See you again in one year" and with that he left.
Boy, was that fun--no conversation--a face behind a mask--burned skin and a brief, squeaky lecture about going out into the Sun. Not a problem, Doc if I want to live in the Bat Cave with you. This is Arizona and just in case you haven't noticed, there is a lot of sunshine out there.
I never returned to see Dr. Mole again, but I encountered another fun dermatologist a year later. Can we say "neurotic" and a bit too trigger happy with the liquid nitrogen. I swear I would go in thinking I was okay and leave with 30 burned spots on my face, hands and arms. This woman never laughed or smiled and after one brief surgical procedure yelled at me for bleeding too much. I believe she is now the official Poster child for several Mood Stabilizers.
Look for a future blog about Dentists...you know, the guys/gals who use your chest for a tray as they drill, spray, hammer and ask you questions while putting their gloved fingers in your mouth.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The National Park Service
Recently I visited Mesa Verde National Park and realized that whoever writes information about hikes and adventures for the National Park Service loves to exaggerate information.
I didn't realize that there were two big tours of the Native American Ruins at Mesa Verde--one being the Cliff Palace and the other, Balcony House. So me and my group were reading about the tours and the Cliff Palace seemed like a breeze, but the Balcony House was frightening. It mentioned climbing up steep ladders and crawling through a 12 foot tunnel and lighting candles and getting your last rites before the tour! It even had a "demo tunnel" at the Visitor Center to give you some idea of how narrow the tunnel was.
I know I am not ready to climb Mt. Everest nor did I feel ready to tackle the Balcony House. However, the Cliff Palace seemed like a reasonable tour, so I went to purchase tickets from the friendly Ranger at the Visitor Center. This Ranger looked at me, and started talking so fast that I wondered how much coffee she had that morning, and I couldn't quite grasp what she was saying. Before I could ask for a rerun, she gave me two tickets and shouted "NEXT" and the next unsuspecting tourist nudged me out of the way. I looked over the tickets--one for Cliff Palace and the other was the dreaded Balcony House!!!
So we crawled through the practice tunnel outside the Visitor Center which was not very long and talked about our claustrophic experiences in life and decided we would go to the Cliff Palace and think about the Balcony House.
The Cliff Palace Tour was like going to Disneyland in the Summer without Snow White and those other characters in drag. It was physically easy and although the Ruins were impressive, the tour was not.
That's what pushed us to the Balcony House--we wanted a great tour and a Ranger that could provide more than the scripted talk she had rehearsed. We discussed our Wills and who to notify in case of an accident as we drove to the Tour Starting spot where we were greeted by Ranger Tim and 4 other people. Tim didn't look like a mountain climber or extreme sports kind of guy. He was in his 50's with a little bit of a belly and when asked questions about the ladders and the tunnel, he said "I do it several times a day". Figuring if Ranger Tim could do it, so could we, off we went.
The Balcony House Tour was fantastic--six people--a great Ranger who had lots of stories and could answer any question put to him. As for the death-defying ladder climbs....they were high but not scary or unsafe and the tunnel was tall enough for me to bend over and walk through. Granted, those over 5 ft tall might have to crawl, but it was perfect for those of us who are vertically challenged.
I went back and reread the paper given at the front gate about the tour, thinking I must have misunderstood how dangerous this tour was, but no, it sounded like something only the very fit or foolish should ever do. Maybe the people who write these descriptions are frustrated authors of fiction or maybe the National Park Service uses them for the purpose of crowd control. At any rate, from, now on I am going to definitely hike or go on the Ranger Tour that sounds the most dangerous and terrifying because I know NPS secret!
I didn't realize that there were two big tours of the Native American Ruins at Mesa Verde--one being the Cliff Palace and the other, Balcony House. So me and my group were reading about the tours and the Cliff Palace seemed like a breeze, but the Balcony House was frightening. It mentioned climbing up steep ladders and crawling through a 12 foot tunnel and lighting candles and getting your last rites before the tour! It even had a "demo tunnel" at the Visitor Center to give you some idea of how narrow the tunnel was.
I know I am not ready to climb Mt. Everest nor did I feel ready to tackle the Balcony House. However, the Cliff Palace seemed like a reasonable tour, so I went to purchase tickets from the friendly Ranger at the Visitor Center. This Ranger looked at me, and started talking so fast that I wondered how much coffee she had that morning, and I couldn't quite grasp what she was saying. Before I could ask for a rerun, she gave me two tickets and shouted "NEXT" and the next unsuspecting tourist nudged me out of the way. I looked over the tickets--one for Cliff Palace and the other was the dreaded Balcony House!!!
So we crawled through the practice tunnel outside the Visitor Center which was not very long and talked about our claustrophic experiences in life and decided we would go to the Cliff Palace and think about the Balcony House.
The Cliff Palace Tour was like going to Disneyland in the Summer without Snow White and those other characters in drag. It was physically easy and although the Ruins were impressive, the tour was not.
That's what pushed us to the Balcony House--we wanted a great tour and a Ranger that could provide more than the scripted talk she had rehearsed. We discussed our Wills and who to notify in case of an accident as we drove to the Tour Starting spot where we were greeted by Ranger Tim and 4 other people. Tim didn't look like a mountain climber or extreme sports kind of guy. He was in his 50's with a little bit of a belly and when asked questions about the ladders and the tunnel, he said "I do it several times a day". Figuring if Ranger Tim could do it, so could we, off we went.
The Balcony House Tour was fantastic--six people--a great Ranger who had lots of stories and could answer any question put to him. As for the death-defying ladder climbs....they were high but not scary or unsafe and the tunnel was tall enough for me to bend over and walk through. Granted, those over 5 ft tall might have to crawl, but it was perfect for those of us who are vertically challenged.
I went back and reread the paper given at the front gate about the tour, thinking I must have misunderstood how dangerous this tour was, but no, it sounded like something only the very fit or foolish should ever do. Maybe the people who write these descriptions are frustrated authors of fiction or maybe the National Park Service uses them for the purpose of crowd control. At any rate, from, now on I am going to definitely hike or go on the Ranger Tour that sounds the most dangerous and terrifying because I know NPS secret!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Flip Wilson as Geraldine...
In the 1970's Flip Wilson made it big by creating a character, Geraldine Jones. Flip Wilson, by the end of the 70's left show business to take care of his children and died in 1998 without a lot of fanfare.
Here is a funny clip with Geraldine (btw Flip was an attractive woman in drag), and features a young Bill Cosby and a cameo of Gina Lollabrigida. Whether you remember Flip Wilson or not, this is a fun clip to watch.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9dsng_the-flip-wilson-show-geraldine-bill_shortfilms
Here is a funny clip with Geraldine (btw Flip was an attractive woman in drag), and features a young Bill Cosby and a cameo of Gina Lollabrigida. Whether you remember Flip Wilson or not, this is a fun clip to watch.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9dsng_the-flip-wilson-show-geraldine-bill_shortfilms
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Happiness = $75,000
There was a new study done by an Economist and Psychologist at Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School that says people who make $75,000 a year or more are not really happier than those who make less but that making $75,000 or more makes money less of a problem or a concern and of course, reduces stress that only poverty and low income can create. So, the higher the income, the easier life becomes--wow--who would have thought?
They went on to say that no matter what you make, for "every 10% rise in annual income moves people up the satisfaction ladder", (the scale they used to measure satisfaction). Okay, now I really feel badly...I don't make close to $75,000 and I have never had a 10% increase in salary. I want to cry.
The question I have is who thinks up this kind of research? I mean ask any fourth grader who is impoverished if he is as satisfied as his classmate who has his own cell phone, high definition television, and iPod? It is doubtful he will say "I feel that material things are not as important as the strength of your character". Give me a break. We live in world where money is so seductive people lie and steal to get it, so if you make enough to pay for food, housing, luxuries and have money left over, life is good and $75,000 sounds like a great salary to me.
So, based upon this wonderful study I am going to the President of where I work and have a chat. I am sure he will be willing, once I explain that my happiness and life satisfaction would clearly increase if I was making $75,00 a year, to increase my salary. Thanks, Princeton boys for this helpful and encouraging piece of research. I guess now we know the price tag for world peace, $75,000 a person.
They went on to say that no matter what you make, for "every 10% rise in annual income moves people up the satisfaction ladder", (the scale they used to measure satisfaction). Okay, now I really feel badly...I don't make close to $75,000 and I have never had a 10% increase in salary. I want to cry.
The question I have is who thinks up this kind of research? I mean ask any fourth grader who is impoverished if he is as satisfied as his classmate who has his own cell phone, high definition television, and iPod? It is doubtful he will say "I feel that material things are not as important as the strength of your character". Give me a break. We live in world where money is so seductive people lie and steal to get it, so if you make enough to pay for food, housing, luxuries and have money left over, life is good and $75,000 sounds like a great salary to me.
So, based upon this wonderful study I am going to the President of where I work and have a chat. I am sure he will be willing, once I explain that my happiness and life satisfaction would clearly increase if I was making $75,00 a year, to increase my salary. Thanks, Princeton boys for this helpful and encouraging piece of research. I guess now we know the price tag for world peace, $75,000 a person.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Toltec Truck Stop
Sometimes life gives you opportunities you would not seek on your own. For example, a week ago I was on my way to Tucson to visit friends and got a phone call from one of them (also enroute to Tucson) saying her car was having some problems and was I nearby in case she needed to leave the car and drive back with me. Luck would have it that I was not far from her and so I pulled into the nearest place to escape the heat and wait to hear if I needed to pick her up--the Toltec Truck Stop.
Now, I must admit I have never spent any time in a Truck Stop. I found the entire experience, enlightening. My first encounter was with a woman whose lip ring made it difficult for her to clearly enunciate her words. She worked at the A & W Root Beer Stand. I love Root Beer and there was a tap on the counter which said to me the Root Beer was freshly brewed, so I ordered one. Lip Ring gave me an empty cup and pointed me in the direction of the beverage dispenser. So, I asked if the Root Beer in the dispenser was the same as in the tap. She was undoubtedly tired of talking at this point so all I got was a head nod. Off I go to the dispenser only the A & W Root Beer there was Diet--which I didn't want. So, I wandered back and asked for regular, not diet Root Beer. She didn't seem to comprehend this request, so I repeated it and I think the 2nd request woke her up and finally I got my Root Beer. I think it must be hard to remain conscious when you only have 1 customer every hour or so.
I sat for awhile drinking my Root Beer and then decided to check out the "store" in the place. I never knew there were so many appliances available to Truck Drivers. This store had a variety of cooking stoves, crockpots, grills, blenders, fryers, refrigerators, wine coolers--all of which plugged into the cigarette lighter! It was incredible. Now I know why some times you will see truck drivers driving fast or all over the road--they are probably trying to drive while attempting to cook a gourmet meal.
Probably the most interesting thing was the book section in the Truck Stop. I expected some books that were funny or had adult content but most of them were religious and about God and the Road.. I loved some of the titles: Jesus was a Trucker; God Owns the Highway; The Lord is My Back Seat Driver. My favorite title was Gas is an American Right. I can't wait for that one to be made into a movie.
There was more to explore at the Toltec Truck Stop, but my friend called and I had to leave. I bid goodbye to Ms. Lip Ring (she didn't respond) and took one long last look at the place that I don't believe I will ever willingly visit again.
Now, I must admit I have never spent any time in a Truck Stop. I found the entire experience, enlightening. My first encounter was with a woman whose lip ring made it difficult for her to clearly enunciate her words. She worked at the A & W Root Beer Stand. I love Root Beer and there was a tap on the counter which said to me the Root Beer was freshly brewed, so I ordered one. Lip Ring gave me an empty cup and pointed me in the direction of the beverage dispenser. So, I asked if the Root Beer in the dispenser was the same as in the tap. She was undoubtedly tired of talking at this point so all I got was a head nod. Off I go to the dispenser only the A & W Root Beer there was Diet--which I didn't want. So, I wandered back and asked for regular, not diet Root Beer. She didn't seem to comprehend this request, so I repeated it and I think the 2nd request woke her up and finally I got my Root Beer. I think it must be hard to remain conscious when you only have 1 customer every hour or so.
I sat for awhile drinking my Root Beer and then decided to check out the "store" in the place. I never knew there were so many appliances available to Truck Drivers. This store had a variety of cooking stoves, crockpots, grills, blenders, fryers, refrigerators, wine coolers--all of which plugged into the cigarette lighter! It was incredible. Now I know why some times you will see truck drivers driving fast or all over the road--they are probably trying to drive while attempting to cook a gourmet meal.
Probably the most interesting thing was the book section in the Truck Stop. I expected some books that were funny or had adult content but most of them were religious and about God and the Road.. I loved some of the titles: Jesus was a Trucker; God Owns the Highway; The Lord is My Back Seat Driver. My favorite title was Gas is an American Right. I can't wait for that one to be made into a movie.
There was more to explore at the Toltec Truck Stop, but my friend called and I had to leave. I bid goodbye to Ms. Lip Ring (she didn't respond) and took one long last look at the place that I don't believe I will ever willingly visit again.
Friday, August 27, 2010
An Honest Politician
Okay, I admit that I was a member of the Cynics Club regarding most of the politicians who run for office these days. I think the higher the office the greater the pressure and temptations one experiences and what often gets lost are ethics, values and clarity about why a person ran for office in the first place.
Then last week I was in Bisbee, Arizona and my friend read me something from The Bisbee Observer and my hope for an honest politician was renewed and my membership to the Cynics Club was canceled. Seems it is election time in beautiful Bisbee and the local paper was asking questions of the candidates for Mayor and City Council so that the citizens of the town knew more about their candidates.
The questions were pretty ordinary as were most of the answers with the exception of one by W. Boyd Nicholl who is running for reelection for City Council. Below is the question/answer from Mr. Boyd.
Question: What Makes you the best qualified candidate for the position you are seeking?*
W. Boyd's Answer: I do not like this question, it assumes an ego I simply do not have. Hell, I may not be the best candidate, but I am the only one running!
I don't know anything else about W. Boyd, but I like his style...and his honesty!. Good luck, W. Boyd.
*taken from the August 19, 2010 edition of The Bisbee Observer, page 10
Then last week I was in Bisbee, Arizona and my friend read me something from The Bisbee Observer and my hope for an honest politician was renewed and my membership to the Cynics Club was canceled. Seems it is election time in beautiful Bisbee and the local paper was asking questions of the candidates for Mayor and City Council so that the citizens of the town knew more about their candidates.
The questions were pretty ordinary as were most of the answers with the exception of one by W. Boyd Nicholl who is running for reelection for City Council. Below is the question/answer from Mr. Boyd.
Question: What Makes you the best qualified candidate for the position you are seeking?*
W. Boyd's Answer: I do not like this question, it assumes an ego I simply do not have. Hell, I may not be the best candidate, but I am the only one running!
I don't know anything else about W. Boyd, but I like his style...and his honesty!. Good luck, W. Boyd.
*taken from the August 19, 2010 edition of The Bisbee Observer, page 10
Thursday, August 19, 2010
A Bear Story....
People love bears and bear stories and this summer there have been quite few of them, but this might be the best one of all. Seems that in British Columbia, somewhere near the U.S. Canadian border, police found two marijuana fields with about 2,300 plants. They wanted, of course, to get rid of them, but they couldn't even get near them because wandering through the fields were 13 black bears.
One of the head investigators said "...the bears were docile..." Yeah, I bet...they were having a great time hanging out in those fields! The Royal Mounted Police think the bears were planted there to guard the fields and plants, but I think some bear was wondering through the forest and came upon these plants and called his friend "Dude...I found something that is better than berries and salmon--really". And before you know it, there was a party happening with every bear in the neighborhood.
The party, is now over...the bears are back to a more conventional diet and the Royal Mounted Police have taken care of the plants that remained after the bears vacated the party!
Party Bear...after the party!!
One of the head investigators said "...the bears were docile..." Yeah, I bet...they were having a great time hanging out in those fields! The Royal Mounted Police think the bears were planted there to guard the fields and plants, but I think some bear was wondering through the forest and came upon these plants and called his friend "Dude...I found something that is better than berries and salmon--really". And before you know it, there was a party happening with every bear in the neighborhood.
The party, is now over...the bears are back to a more conventional diet and the Royal Mounted Police have taken care of the plants that remained after the bears vacated the party!
Party Bear...after the party!!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Jonathan Winters and Robin Williams
Who made you laugh when you were younger? I thought my 6th grade math teacher was funny, but I don't think he was really trying to be...also I laughed a lot at myself. I wrote silly stories and then would read them over and crack up. No wonder I got a job in mental health.
In between my psychotic moments, I would laugh at Jonathan Winters...I loved his impersonations and his humor. He is in his 80's now and I have no idea what he is doing, but I bet he still has funny moments. Found this short little video clip with him and Robin Williams on a young (I mean he still had lots of hair and no scandal regarding women who worked for him), David Letterman show. It made me laugh just like I did when I was too young for senior discounts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWfSsV6EjgE&feature=related
In between my psychotic moments, I would laugh at Jonathan Winters...I loved his impersonations and his humor. He is in his 80's now and I have no idea what he is doing, but I bet he still has funny moments. Found this short little video clip with him and Robin Williams on a young (I mean he still had lots of hair and no scandal regarding women who worked for him), David Letterman show. It made me laugh just like I did when I was too young for senior discounts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWfSsV6EjgE&feature=related
Thursday, August 12, 2010
The World is Not Safe...for Pancakes
Sometimes there is news that is so disturbing that I can hardly bear to read it or share it. Such is the case about an incident that happened outside a Bellingham, Washington IHOP restaurant.It seems that "Suzie Pancake" who is, by the way, the official IHOP mascot, was assaulted by a bystander during the middle of the day. Suzie Pancake, is really some 19 year old woman wearing a pancake suit (see photo), which is humiliating enough but then to get assaulted just for the way you look is beyond sad.
A 22 year old guy just came up to her and started yelling and hitting the pancake. Suzie the Pancake could have been torn to pieces had it not been for the actions of a passer-by who grabbed the young guy and tried to divert him to the nearby Waffle House. Suzie was unhurt but shaken.
What is happening in our world? There was a time when people could dress up like pancakes and know that no one would ever hurt them...I think it just shows that the world -- particularly the United States is no longer safe for those that dress like pancakes, or donuts, or bugs, or Disney characters. I support Suzie in carrying an automatic weapon, grenade launcher, bear mace, or berry syrup containers when she works so that she can safely walk the streets around IHOP and deal with people who may bite, pinch, slap or proposition her.
Stay safe, Suzie.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Justin Bieber's Memoir
Justin Bieber is writing his memoir. Yeah, I guess he feels he has a lot to share for his 16 years of existence and he wants people to know how he developed his fame, fortune and hairstyle.
Forgive me Justin, but I don't want to read your short story about how you got noticed on You Tube and how you have 12 year olds tossing their training bras at you. I want to read a book about how to find treasures at Garage Sales that make you millions.
In case you didn't read about it, there's this guy who 10 years ago is at a Garage Sale in California and sees a couple of boxes of glass photography plates selling for $75. He unwraps a few of them and decides to barter..$45 later he takes the boxes and goes home. Today those plates (which have been authenticated as belonging to Ansel Adams) are worth around 200 million dollars.
Wow...I want that guy to write a memoir on how to pick treasures from trash. I want to know all of his secrets and I want him to also interview folks who show up on Antiques Road Show with their $4 purchases that are worth half a million dollars.
I go to garage sales and I look in the crappy boxes to see if a treasure is there but honestly all I see is trash. I look at old paintings and all I can think of is Motel 6 decor. I have no idea how or where to look for a treasure. I am a master at purchasing crap that is, and will always remain, crap.
So, Justin...your book is not on my reading list, but if that Ansel Adams' photography plate guy writes his memoirs I am buying it and the sequel and the CD. I am ready....
Forgive me Justin, but I don't want to read your short story about how you got noticed on You Tube and how you have 12 year olds tossing their training bras at you. I want to read a book about how to find treasures at Garage Sales that make you millions.
In case you didn't read about it, there's this guy who 10 years ago is at a Garage Sale in California and sees a couple of boxes of glass photography plates selling for $75. He unwraps a few of them and decides to barter..$45 later he takes the boxes and goes home. Today those plates (which have been authenticated as belonging to Ansel Adams) are worth around 200 million dollars.
Wow...I want that guy to write a memoir on how to pick treasures from trash. I want to know all of his secrets and I want him to also interview folks who show up on Antiques Road Show with their $4 purchases that are worth half a million dollars.
I go to garage sales and I look in the crappy boxes to see if a treasure is there but honestly all I see is trash. I look at old paintings and all I can think of is Motel 6 decor. I have no idea how or where to look for a treasure. I am a master at purchasing crap that is, and will always remain, crap.
So, Justin...your book is not on my reading list, but if that Ansel Adams' photography plate guy writes his memoirs I am buying it and the sequel and the CD. I am ready....
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Dr. Oz is on the Humor Wagon
I thought I was on the cutting edge of things regarding humor and then this morning in the paper there was an article by Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen (who?) about the link between laughing and longevity. Since Dr. Oz has a television show and I am still appearing weekly at the Porta Potty near the Snow Bowl, I decided I would pass along his advice. Three tips:
1. "Get your daily quota of yucks". Now I am assuming the "yucks" in his tip have nothing to do with things that make you gag.
2. "See humor in your life"
3. "Discover what really tickles your funny bone".
Okay, Dr. Oz and "what's his name", thank you for this article and your advice. Today, I am going to contribute to your "daily yucks" by showing you this clip from Ellen DeGeneres. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFKM1fYXP-s&feature=related
1. "Get your daily quota of yucks". Now I am assuming the "yucks" in his tip have nothing to do with things that make you gag.
2. "See humor in your life"
3. "Discover what really tickles your funny bone".
Okay, Dr. Oz and "what's his name", thank you for this article and your advice. Today, I am going to contribute to your "daily yucks" by showing you this clip from Ellen DeGeneres. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFKM1fYXP-s&feature=related
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Starbucks--Can You Say Crazy Macchiato?
I was once persuaded by the reminders my creditors were sending, to take a job with Starbucks as a Barista. I managed to survive the training which included the making of all the drinks and learning the Starbucks language. Frankly, I was the slowest drink maker in the entire history of the company and my Starbucks language skills often required the help of the store translator.
Still my work ethic and desire to not have my electricity turned off propelled me into doing the best job I could possibly do. I was friendly, made great foam and would try to help customers who needed assistance in understanding the 3,098 options listed on the menu board. I really liked what I did for awhile...until the Ugly Customer started showing up more and more on my shifts. The Ugly Customer is any Starbucks person who is just plain crazy and demanding. I usually don't react to people who are mean and hostile but when I found myself purchasing a holster to carry my whip cream dispenser for protection and revenge, I knew it was time to leave.
Today I saw a You Tube video that brought it all back to me...and when I called my therapist she told me to write about and share it anyone I could in an effort to move through the pain. So here it is....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNHa4dPCH1k
Still my work ethic and desire to not have my electricity turned off propelled me into doing the best job I could possibly do. I was friendly, made great foam and would try to help customers who needed assistance in understanding the 3,098 options listed on the menu board. I really liked what I did for awhile...until the Ugly Customer started showing up more and more on my shifts. The Ugly Customer is any Starbucks person who is just plain crazy and demanding. I usually don't react to people who are mean and hostile but when I found myself purchasing a holster to carry my whip cream dispenser for protection and revenge, I knew it was time to leave.
Today I saw a You Tube video that brought it all back to me...and when I called my therapist she told me to write about and share it anyone I could in an effort to move through the pain. So here it is....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNHa4dPCH1k
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
That Darn Betty White
Today I was at work and I just started thinking about Betty White and decided to check out her monologue for Saturday Night Live, (this is how my mind works...go figure). At 88 that woman is still going strong...and funny. So, here's a laugh moment for today courtesy of Betty White: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srD7bEU9MXA&feature=related
Sunday, July 18, 2010
State Obesity Rankings
I recently read an article that ranked the 51 states (D.C. was in there) for obesity levels in the United States. Mississippi was the worse; Colorado the best. Arizona was 29th.
I don't get it..was there a contest that I missed? And how did they get this info? Did they go house to house, like the Census and ask people to weigh themselves, or did they count the number of pudgy kids or adults per square mile? Maybe they asked people to pick Jenny Craig out of a line-up and if they couldn't...well, you know that is sign of something.
Now, the part that is most confusing is what are the people in the "fat" states supposed to do with this information? Move? Talk to their neighbors? Go on Tyra Banks' show? Have neighborhood weigh ins?
Get rid of McDonalds, Burger King or Chicken City?
Okay I know that it is good to eat healthy, exercise and be aware of what you feed your children, but I don't think ranking states is really going to promote this. In fact, some people in Mississippi may even be proud that they came in as the worst state for obesity. Who knows?
So, if you live in a "skinny state"-- whoopee! If you live in "fat states" -- now you know. And if you live somewhere inbetween, welcome to the world of competition.
I don't get it..was there a contest that I missed? And how did they get this info? Did they go house to house, like the Census and ask people to weigh themselves, or did they count the number of pudgy kids or adults per square mile? Maybe they asked people to pick Jenny Craig out of a line-up and if they couldn't...well, you know that is sign of something.
Now, the part that is most confusing is what are the people in the "fat" states supposed to do with this information? Move? Talk to their neighbors? Go on Tyra Banks' show? Have neighborhood weigh ins?
Get rid of McDonalds, Burger King or Chicken City?
Okay I know that it is good to eat healthy, exercise and be aware of what you feed your children, but I don't think ranking states is really going to promote this. In fact, some people in Mississippi may even be proud that they came in as the worst state for obesity. Who knows?
So, if you live in a "skinny state"-- whoopee! If you live in "fat states" -- now you know. And if you live somewhere inbetween, welcome to the world of competition.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Secret Lives
I saw an episode last night on Primetime about a guy who seemed like a great husband, friend, church goer, father and then he suddenly disappeared. His wife, kids, co-workers, friends went on a frantic search to find him fearing the worse. What they found out several weeks later was he had been building another, and secret life.in which he identified as bisexual, "swinger" with several internet sites where he solicited "hook ups" with a whole different identity. In the show, he was eventually found in L.A.and the reporter wanted to talk with him and find out why he didn't just divorce his wife, and leave...why create such a dramatic exit? The guy, whose name is hard to recall because he had several of them, was not willing to talk and share his reasons.
I remember watching Charles Kuralt who did "On The Road" feature for CBS news for years. I loved his visits to out-of-the-way places and interviews with people. After he died in 1997 his long time wife found out that Charlie had a secret life--and wife--and children and house where they lived. Evidently, Charles was doing more than just traveling the back roads of America in his Motor Home! Since he was dead he never got to be interviewed and explain why he wanted to maintain two separate lives.
My question is how do you find the time to create, much less develop a secret life? I mean I don't have time for my own life, much less to create a new one that I am actively engaged in. How do people do it and manage to keep their two lives separate and secret? I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. I am obviously not a multi-tasker.
I am going to get a hold of the guy from Primetime--as soon as I can figure out his name--and suggest that he stop doing whatever he is doing to make a living and start writing a book about Time Management. I mean the guy is a genius and could make a bundle. I would call his book: There is Always Time For Another Life...
I remember watching Charles Kuralt who did "On The Road" feature for CBS news for years. I loved his visits to out-of-the-way places and interviews with people. After he died in 1997 his long time wife found out that Charlie had a secret life--and wife--and children and house where they lived. Evidently, Charles was doing more than just traveling the back roads of America in his Motor Home! Since he was dead he never got to be interviewed and explain why he wanted to maintain two separate lives.
My question is how do you find the time to create, much less develop a secret life? I mean I don't have time for my own life, much less to create a new one that I am actively engaged in. How do people do it and manage to keep their two lives separate and secret? I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. I am obviously not a multi-tasker.
I am going to get a hold of the guy from Primetime--as soon as I can figure out his name--and suggest that he stop doing whatever he is doing to make a living and start writing a book about Time Management. I mean the guy is a genius and could make a bundle. I would call his book: There is Always Time For Another Life...
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Laverne and Shirley
Laverne and Shirley ran from 1976 to 1983 and starred Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams. They are both gifted comedians whose physical comedy was the center of the show.
This clip is dedicated to restaurant workers and cooks everywhere: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7oHvQu-dc4
This clip is dedicated to restaurant workers and cooks everywhere: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7oHvQu-dc4
Friday, July 9, 2010
Reviewing Doctor Offices
I just finished reading a review of a local restaurant and it got me to thinking. Why don't they write reviews in the paper about doctors' offices? Wouldn't that improve our health care and make waiting rooms a lot nicer? Here's an example.
I visited the office of Dr. Squeeze and Smooch in a lovely area north of town. Parking accommodations were unique as they only offer parallel parking or parking at meters that tended to devour my change. Once however, I manage to get parked, the office entrance was only a few feet away and the walkway was beautifully decorated with large planters and a fountain that made you feel relaxed and serene before the poking and prodding began.
The front office receptionist was friendly although her eye contact was minimal as she requested my insurance card and asked me to complete the short novel also known as my "medical history form". She offered me a pen but I declined as I prefer to use pens that have only been touched by my own hands.
The form was hard to read in places and the questions were often worded poorly. I also found several misspelled words and more grammatical errors than I could count. I felt like I wanted to take a nap halfway through the thing and wondered why they couldn't condense this 10 page albatross into something short and sweet.
The office lighting was not the usual fluorescent but was low and soft and I noticed CFL bulbs under the lampshades. Although this lighting made one feel cozy and at ease it also made it impossible to read the poor quality medical history form. I had to resort to pulling a flashlight from my bag to read and decipher most of the print.
When I returned the form the office receptionist I had originally met was replaced by a snarly older man who looked over my form and told me (not asked) to take a seat. I asked how long might it be before I saw the doctor and was told "he will get with you when he gets with you".
I took a seat near a table lamp and reviewed the selection of magazines which was sparse and not inviting--There were several copies of Hunter's Guide, National Geographic, and only two very old People and Ladies Home Journal Magazines. I resorted to watching the flat screen television which was showing old Dr. Phil episodes although the volume was so low so I had to make up the dialogue. It was either a show about hairy men or problems with teens who dress like vampires. I wasn't sure.
The furniture and waiting room was designed in "Early Office" and to say it was boring is an understatement. I noticed several tears in the fabric on the chairs and a couple of wads of gum were visible under the table holding the poor selection of magazines. The color on the walls was off white with pictures that had to have been ripped off the walls of a nearby Motel 6.
Finally, a medical person (who knows if she is a nurse of just graduated from an online medical technician course), called my name....(this review will continue in next week's column).
I visited the office of Dr. Squeeze and Smooch in a lovely area north of town. Parking accommodations were unique as they only offer parallel parking or parking at meters that tended to devour my change. Once however, I manage to get parked, the office entrance was only a few feet away and the walkway was beautifully decorated with large planters and a fountain that made you feel relaxed and serene before the poking and prodding began.
The front office receptionist was friendly although her eye contact was minimal as she requested my insurance card and asked me to complete the short novel also known as my "medical history form". She offered me a pen but I declined as I prefer to use pens that have only been touched by my own hands.
The form was hard to read in places and the questions were often worded poorly. I also found several misspelled words and more grammatical errors than I could count. I felt like I wanted to take a nap halfway through the thing and wondered why they couldn't condense this 10 page albatross into something short and sweet.
The office lighting was not the usual fluorescent but was low and soft and I noticed CFL bulbs under the lampshades. Although this lighting made one feel cozy and at ease it also made it impossible to read the poor quality medical history form. I had to resort to pulling a flashlight from my bag to read and decipher most of the print.
When I returned the form the office receptionist I had originally met was replaced by a snarly older man who looked over my form and told me (not asked) to take a seat. I asked how long might it be before I saw the doctor and was told "he will get with you when he gets with you".
I took a seat near a table lamp and reviewed the selection of magazines which was sparse and not inviting--There were several copies of Hunter's Guide, National Geographic, and only two very old People and Ladies Home Journal Magazines. I resorted to watching the flat screen television which was showing old Dr. Phil episodes although the volume was so low so I had to make up the dialogue. It was either a show about hairy men or problems with teens who dress like vampires. I wasn't sure.
The furniture and waiting room was designed in "Early Office" and to say it was boring is an understatement. I noticed several tears in the fabric on the chairs and a couple of wads of gum were visible under the table holding the poor selection of magazines. The color on the walls was off white with pictures that had to have been ripped off the walls of a nearby Motel 6.
Finally, a medical person (who knows if she is a nurse of just graduated from an online medical technician course), called my name....(this review will continue in next week's column).
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
July Horoscopes
Another month and another horoscope 'cause those stars and moons just won't stay still. If you joined the world in July then you are either a Cancer or a Leo both of which are delightful signs in the Zodiac.
Let's start with those of under the influence of Cancer -- Cancers are loyal, trustworthy, complex and full of surprises. Cancers make great friends, employers and financial advisers.
Right now, Cancers are experiencing a Juxaposition of their Moon and Jupiter. This can only mean one thing--it is time to stop thinking and start doing. Perhaps it is time to build an addition onto your home, or to take a shower, or start drinking or pay your taxes. Whatever you have been putting off needs to move into the Action Mode. The Stars say "it is time".
Also, Cancers are needing to start paying attention to how they look....yeah, that is right. You see your left hand is in opposition to your right hand and Pluto. This means it is time to start looking fine. Toss out those dull leisure suits and boring browns, and grays. It is time to shine, and that means COLOR! Reds, yellows, oranges, pinks, lime green---all the colors of the fashion rainbow. Don't be afraid to make yourself look like a taxicab in Thailand! It is your time to be noticed even if all you get are people looking at you and shaking their heads. Shine on....
For Leos there are things happening in the moonbeams. Leos do not like to be alone...no, never. They love excitement, and attention and like to be in control. Lions are not docile and passive--they are out there and they are in charge.
Right now, Leos are having some alignments between their 7th and 8th houses and some kind of asteriod, which means there is a lot going on in Leoville. Leos are going to feel the pull to work on their relationships with people they don't like. Yes, that means you Leos are going to play "nice-nice" with people who irritate, annoy, aggravate and just plain make you sick. The stars say it is time to build peace in the world and Leos have to lead the way...at least until the planets and other astrological things shift a bit.
Another thing happening for Leos is the Sun Sign has found its way to the forefront of your chart. This is not easy, but you will find you have no choice but to start watching Infomercials all night long for at least three months. Yes, and you will tempted to order things that you never wanted -- juicers, hair replacement plugs, laundry additives, music from the Dark Ages...and the list goes on. It will be a time of no sleep and rude remarks from your loved one. Good luck...
May the Stars Shine Upon You...
Let's start with those of under the influence of Cancer -- Cancers are loyal, trustworthy, complex and full of surprises. Cancers make great friends, employers and financial advisers.
Right now, Cancers are experiencing a Juxaposition of their Moon and Jupiter. This can only mean one thing--it is time to stop thinking and start doing. Perhaps it is time to build an addition onto your home, or to take a shower, or start drinking or pay your taxes. Whatever you have been putting off needs to move into the Action Mode. The Stars say "it is time".
Also, Cancers are needing to start paying attention to how they look....yeah, that is right. You see your left hand is in opposition to your right hand and Pluto. This means it is time to start looking fine. Toss out those dull leisure suits and boring browns, and grays. It is time to shine, and that means COLOR! Reds, yellows, oranges, pinks, lime green---all the colors of the fashion rainbow. Don't be afraid to make yourself look like a taxicab in Thailand! It is your time to be noticed even if all you get are people looking at you and shaking their heads. Shine on....
For Leos there are things happening in the moonbeams. Leos do not like to be alone...no, never. They love excitement, and attention and like to be in control. Lions are not docile and passive--they are out there and they are in charge.
Right now, Leos are having some alignments between their 7th and 8th houses and some kind of asteriod, which means there is a lot going on in Leoville. Leos are going to feel the pull to work on their relationships with people they don't like. Yes, that means you Leos are going to play "nice-nice" with people who irritate, annoy, aggravate and just plain make you sick. The stars say it is time to build peace in the world and Leos have to lead the way...at least until the planets and other astrological things shift a bit.
Another thing happening for Leos is the Sun Sign has found its way to the forefront of your chart. This is not easy, but you will find you have no choice but to start watching Infomercials all night long for at least three months. Yes, and you will tempted to order things that you never wanted -- juicers, hair replacement plugs, laundry additives, music from the Dark Ages...and the list goes on. It will be a time of no sleep and rude remarks from your loved one. Good luck...
May the Stars Shine Upon You...
Monday, July 5, 2010
America The Beautiful
Yesterday, in celebration of the birth of our nation, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut stuffed 54 Nathan Hot Dogs in his mouth in 10 minutes!! If that wasn't enough to bring tears to your eyes, the contest was marred by a radical and disgruntled former Hot Dog Face Stuffer, Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi, who crashed the proceedings because he had not followed all the rules to enter this momumental event and salute to our country. Joey, however, was unwavering even as the police drug "The Tsunami" off the stage swearing in Japanese and demanding his chance to participate in this American Dream.
There is nothing more American than stuffing 54 hot dogs into your mouth in 10 minutes without gagging. I know that for some Americans, waving the American Flag, watching fireworks and listening to patriotic songs is the way they want to celebrate our Nation's birthday, but for many, watching some guy perform a gluttenous act in public, is America.
God Bless you, Joey....
There is nothing more American than stuffing 54 hot dogs into your mouth in 10 minutes without gagging. I know that for some Americans, waving the American Flag, watching fireworks and listening to patriotic songs is the way they want to celebrate our Nation's birthday, but for many, watching some guy perform a gluttenous act in public, is America.
God Bless you, Joey....
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Cherry Pit Spitting Contest Winners!
There are many competitions in the world--World Series, World Cup, Tour de France, and the hardy recognized "Annual Cherry-Pit-Spitting Competition" held in Eau Claire, Michigan. Once again, Rick "Pellet Gun" Krause won--his 16th win. He spit his cherry pit 51 feet, 3 inches. Wow...he is gifted, and his wife, Marlene took first place in the Women's division spitting her pit 34 feet, 6 inches--her 7th win.
Their training regime evidently is a year round event and since cherries are seasonal they have to practice with different kinds of pits--date pits, apple seeds, prune pits and in the winter months, they spit ice cubes.
This competion started 37 years ago when the founder was undoubtedly under the influence of something, and has managed to continue and attract people whose athletic abilities are questionable. If interested in competing, please first seek professional help.
Their training regime evidently is a year round event and since cherries are seasonal they have to practice with different kinds of pits--date pits, apple seeds, prune pits and in the winter months, they spit ice cubes.
This competion started 37 years ago when the founder was undoubtedly under the influence of something, and has managed to continue and attract people whose athletic abilities are questionable. If interested in competing, please first seek professional help.
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