Walmart at Midnight

I am not a late night kind of gal.  When I was young I had to be in bed by 10pm so I believe that is my life curfew.  At 10pm I am in bed and usually sleeping.  However, last night the cold that was still lingering in my lungs was causing havoc.  I kept coughing and waking myself, my dogs, my partner and  probably the neighbors with my loud hacking.  I tried a spoonful of honey and hot tea and meditating but nothing worked.  Finally at 11:45pm I had had it.  I got up, put on some semi-presentable clothing and went to the one place in town that I knew would be open at this time of night--Walmart!

As I approached the gleaming blue sign I saw  dozens of RVs in the parking lot.  Yes, Walmart is an oasis for those who are traveling and like the sights, sounds and smells of automobiles, screaming children and gas fumes.  I actually had to drive around and through the ill parked RVs to find a parking space that was close to the store since I was in no mood to backpack through the parking lot.

I came through the one opened door in the front and was greeted by a guy who looked like he should be a poster child for "Stranger Danger".  Surprisingly the store was full of people wandering through the aisles with carts and kids full of groceries, dog food and things that I couldn't identify.  I had a moment of thinking that I was in a "B" movie and these shoppers were Zombies who could only come out at night, but then I returned to reality and hurried to the aisle with cough syrup. 

There was a guy in the aisle that was just staring at the cold medicines.  He didn't break his gaze even when I reached in front of him and said "excuse me"....I seriously considered going back today to see if he was still there.

Off to the cashier who reminded me of my abusive 5th grade teacher...she had that same kind of "killer stare" and she was all business.  No smile, no greeting, just a nod when the total rang up and then tossed the bag with my cough syrup at me.  My cough syrup had 1% alcohol in it and at this point, I was ready to rip it open and take a swig or two of it.

I started running out the door, past Stranger Danger greeter and the several families now entering the store with children in tow for a night time adventure at Wally World.  I was so glad to get home I kissed the driveway when I pulled in and went right to bed (after a few tablespoons of my cough syrup).

Walmart at Midnight in my town is quite an adventure, but I don't want to go back....

Ellen at the Pump

Ellen cracks me up especially when she does a segment out of the studio and at some real life location.  Here is a segment that shows Ellen at the gas station.  Ellen delivers full service...with a smile.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFKM1fYXP-s

The End of the World is Coming.

Months ago I put this on my blog but since the day is rapidly approaching I thought it might be good to post it again.

I am not a great planner, and so when I read articles telling me that the End of the World is coming, I am always a bit unsure what to do. 


I just read an article regarding the date when the End of the World will happen.  Yup...the date is May 21, 2011.  Evidently there is a guy, Harold Camping who has calculated the date from his reading of the Bible.  Harold is, by the way, a retired civil engineer who is 89 years old and believes the Bible functions as a "cosmic calendar" for unfulfilled prophecies.  He is very busy spreading the word about THE DATE and trying to help people to be "saved" before the big day.  


I happen to be busy that day--my partner has a birthday on the 21st, so I can't put the End of the World down on my calendar, but maybe some of you are free and want to be ready just in case.  There is no time mentioned by Harold, so you may want to keep the entire day free. For more information and tips on planning the day, check out:     
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001#

Jesus Music Video

This little clip disappeared ... either Google had problems with it or some higher power.  At any rate, it is back on...
http://www.spike.com/video-clips/yo42d7/jesus-christ-the-musical 

Another Animal Video

Another posting for the end of the work week and this one involves a talking dog...maybe it was funny because at this point in the week I am laughing at everything (thank goodness my boss isn't here to witness that).  If you love dogs and people who like to do voice overs for their dogs, then you will love this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw 

The Pace of Life - Lucille Ball style

I love this video clip...it feels like my life.  Some days things are manageable and some days are overwhelming and out of control.  Thank you, Lucy, for making me laugh and smile at the end of the work week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uztA6JCKB4s 

Chelsea Handler

I had to laugh today as I was having a major meltdown and seriously considering starting a new career as a car jacker.  I knew I could count on Chelsea Handler for a laugh because Chelsea has no limits when it comes to making fun of people.  Thank you, Chelsea for putting things in perspective....btw pagent parents are her target in this clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtROfOy8JN0&feature=relmfu

Dick Van Dyke

Dick Van Dyke is out promoting his new autobiography and I am not sure about his book, but he looks great for a 85 year old man. Since I keep seeing his photo and hearing his name, I took that as a sign to find something for my blog.

This clip shows Dick, Mary Tyler Moore, their television son and a beautiful German Shepherd dog.  It is pretty funny in that clearly Dick doesn't have a dog or know what to do with one who is staying overnight.  Hard to believe that television in the early 60s was in black and white and censored so that even married television couples slept in single beds.   Wow...how times have changed.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBlLsaPkpDA&feature=related

 

I am Back....

Okay...I work at a University and the semester is speeding along and I am running along side trying to keep up.  My blog, unfortunately gets left at the station...that is, until today.  I got this video from my sister-in-law and after watching it I started dancing...of course that lead to my colleagues calling the security people because they couldn't tell if I was dancing or convulsing.  Maybe you will have better luck! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ZYL3j27sSH8&vq=medium

Saturday Night Live and Fox Friends

I admit I haven't watched Fox and Friends -- I had no idea what I was missing!  The good folks at Saturday Night Live obviously have had more time than me to watch and put together a skit about recent events.  Makes me proud to watch other networks.
When you click on the link there is brief advertisement...but it is worth the wait.

 http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/fox-and-friends/1319175/

Robin Williams doing accents...

I always wanted to have a real, true and very noticeable accent.  I love them.  I still toss in an accent here and there just to make my stories sound better.  Several years ago I got bored at a case staffing at the agency where I worked so I did my entire case staffing with a Russian accent.  I was pretty new to the group and several people thought I might be Russian.  I loved that.


Speaking of accents, I found this clip with Robin Williams doing a short series of different accents on Ellen's show.  Evidently Robin was challenged to do these accents to raise money for Comic Relief and, as usual, Robin was up to the task of performing.  

I hope you enjoy this (btw I wrote that with a Turkish accent to honor my friend, Derya).


http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/1/25/robin-williams-speed-impersonations-214283

Pap Smears at Walgreens!

I have been out of the blog business for a few days but I am back, with a great little video done by Stephen Colbert about the latest antics on Captial Hill.  Pretty funny stuff on many levels.


It's good to be back...


http://www.commondreams.org/further/2011/04/12-0

You May Want to Check Out These Places on Your Next Road Trip...or Not

Today, in case you missed it (on purpose), there was a link on the MSN site for "Weird Roadside Attractions" right here in the good old USA.  So, if you are about to take a road trip you may want to check them out or find a route that avoids seeing them.    Happy travels...

http://specials.msn.com/A-List/Lifestyle/Weird-roadside-attractions.aspx?cp-documentid=28135481&imageindex=2&cp-searchtext=Cadillac%20Ranch&FORM=MSNIIT

Aries Horoscope

If you were a bundle of joy that arrived between March 21 and April 20th, you are an ARIES.  The sign for all the Aries of the world is a Ram although before it was voted on by the ancients, there was talk of the Aries sign being a platypus. Obviously, the Ram won.


Those of the Aries persuasion are responsible, self-reliant, headstrong, and strong leaders.  A few of the better known Aries are Sandra Day O'Connor, Elton John, Loretta Lynn and some guy who sells Buicks named, Oscar.  So, you Aries are in good company.


As the first sign in the Zodiac, Aries are in for lots of "firsts" this year.  Seems you are going to be the first to try out a new idea from Apple.  You, of course, know the iPad and the iPod, but you will be soon be using the new iPoke.  This small, hand held cattle prod device will enable you to poke and prod people to get out of your way without touching them.  Such a fun device and useful, too as it can be effective within a 3 mile range.  Apple is sure this is another winner!


Later in the year, your Moon is aligned with Jupiter and this means you are finding yourself strangely attracted to old socks...in fact, you start a whole collection of socks....Past & Present...and try to rent space so that you can display this growing collection of clothing that only you and some woman who named her first born, "Stretch" are interested in.  Fortunately, this phase is time limited...although the lease for your "Socks Space" may have a longer time frame.

As the year twists into the New Year, your 5th house will plunge into your new moon.  This means it is time to move and you have found the perfect place....at least in your present state of astrological influences.  This house is made out of  Fruit Loops, Cheerios and Doritos.  Can you picture it?  Well...no one can talk you out of this purchase and no one wants to visit or live there.  So, there you have it...a biodegradable house located right outside the city limits of Juarez.  Sometimes the planets do mean things.

So, Aries people, that's all for now.  Happy Astrological Moments!

Ellen and some funny commercials

Ellen's staff is on the look out for some funny commercials so that she can share them on her show.
There are four in this video...the last two are the funniest..at least in my opinion, but all are worth looking at.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AaEwvjKbh4

A short bit on the metric system....

Another clip from Wanda Sykes this time it is about the metric system and health care.  Funny...and most of us can relate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU8506LwOaw&feature=relmfu

Otters Holding Hands

Okay, I am a sap for Otters...I love their little faces and the way they swim and play.  I could watch them all day.  Here is a video that isn't really funny but it made me smile and is really kind of sweet.  So, if you love Otters like I love Otters, you will love this:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno

Wanda Sykes...

Wanda Sykes and a short bit about "coming out"...with a twist. 


Just in case you aren't sure where to click, click on "Wanda Sykes" to see the clip.

Charlie Sheen

I don't really want to get on the Charlie Sheen bandwagon, although it is tempting to say some humorous things about him and his behavior. I have given  in, however, to a cartoon I was sent by my sister-in-law...

 

Carol Burnett Show

I am old enough to remember watching Carol Burnett...I loved her show...Tim Conway, Harvey Korman, Vicki Lawrence.  I thought she was (and still is) amazingly talented.  This clip shows several bits and pieces of her show, including the dysfunctional family of the year, a skit about Gone With The Wind and other goodies.


So here is a salute to Carol Burnett  and laughter.


Click on the "Carol Burnett" to view the video